The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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No Noise Please

on May 14, 2012

After 21 years of marriage, my husband and I are still very much in love.  We are very affectionate toward each other.  Not the leering, grabbing drooling thing that many people mistake for affection.  True affection.  We like to hold hands. Hug. Give a little “pat” as the other one walks by. Cuddle on the couch when watching television.  Since I cut my hair short,  he likes to walk up behind me and give me a kiss on the side of the neck. We kiss each other goodbye. Say “I love you” before we part company.  Those are all good things. Unless you ask our children.

When I was growing up my parents were lovingly affectionate much like my husband and I are.  They didn’t hide the fact that they liked each other from us as children.  That’s how I learned what a good marriage looked like: how a husband should treat his wife and how a wife should treat her husband.   That’s how I learned what true love looked like.    My grandparents were opposite studies in showing affection for each other.  One set was as cute as they could be: always hugging, kisses on the cheek, he called her “mommie” and she called him “daddie”.  They were snugglie – adorable.  He’d come in from the garage for a “coffee break” to see his “best girl.”  She’d make sure he had a snack. My other grandparents loved each other, but they never touched each other. They slept in separate rooms. (I often wondered when I was growing up if my father was the result of a farming accident where they just got bumped into each other.)  I can remember my siblings and I almost passing out when they actually kissed each other – in front of PEOPLE – at their 50th wedding anniversary party.  They were incredible loving people, just not outwardly affectionate.

When our children were young, my husband and I decided that we weren’t going to hide the fact that we like each other from them.  While there is a “line” we won’t cross in front of them, we also know there is value in them seeing what a loving relationship looks like.  It didn’t cause too many issues.  Until they got older. When they approached teenage years suddenly we were embarrassing. Gross. EW! (I can remember thinking that about my parents too.  Yes. I AM becoming my mother.) They’ve been our kids for a really long time. You’d think they would have known that: 1 – that isn’t going to stop us and 2 – you are just adding fuel to our fire.  I love to embarrass my kids, are you kidding??  Suddenly my husband started doing things like walking in the room and saying to our kids, “Doesn’t your mom look HOT??” (Emphasize the H and T on that.)  Eye rolls…”Ew DAD!”  I started saying things like, “Sexiest man I’ve ever seen.” when he’d leave the room. “MOTHER!!”  It was great fun.

Eventually the older two wised up and just quit reacting.  In fact, our daughter started telling her friends how cute we are. She likes to tell them about how when her dad was working two full time jobs we had a standing coffee date every Saturday morning, except for the few Saturdays he worked.  Her teenage girl friends all found that very romantic.  So did she. She is very determined to find someone as good as her daddy.

The younger two haven’t quite figured out how to handle it.  A few weeks ago, my husband was giving me a kiss in the kitchen when we heard gagging noises.  I turned to our younger two children and said, “Would you rather we fight?”  “No.” said our 14 year old “But do you have to MAKE NOISE when you do that??”  Again, you’d think she’d know better by now.  This morning my husband came home from being gone for four days. I had just kissed him hello when we heard our youngest son say to his older sister, “Their making noises again!!’  My husband just smiled and said, “That wasn’t noisy. This is.” and proceeded to give me a great big SMOOTCH.

I love that man….and I don’t care who hears it.

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2 responses to “No Noise Please

  1. Eric says:

    Love it! This could have been written by our family. Keep on loving the
    Lord and each other! Love- the Garlands

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