The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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Warning Labels

on June 10, 2012

I’m a mom. I understand the feeling of wanting everyone to be safe at all times, but has anyone else noticed how over the top warning and caution labels have become?  I understand that we wouldn’t need warning labels were it not for the fact that everyone is lawsuit happy, but seriously? What ever happened to common sense?  Apparently it isn’t common any more.  Or we don’t think it is common and we don’t want to be sued.  Here are some of my favorite caution labels:

1. Coffee Cup Lids: “Caution: Contents May be Hot”  Unless I ordered it iced, it better be!  Okay I know this one was caused by a lawsuit. What I don’t understand is how it didn’t get laughed out of court.

2. On Plastic Bags: “Could Cause Suffocation. Plastic Bag is not a Toy”  That just means that you need to toss all the plastic bags that held the $80 toy you just purchased your toddler before you let them play with the box which they prefer more than the $80 toy.

3. The Silicon Bags Inside Shoe Boxes “Caution: Not For Human Consumption”.  Well…if you are hungry enough and your wife is taking too long shoe shopping….

4. On a package of Steak Knives: “Caution: Contents May Be Sharp.”  May be?? If they aren’t I’ll be returning them.

5. On Any Aerosol Can: “Caution Gas Under Pressure. Do Not Puncture Or Spray Near Flame.”  Kill joys!  Coincidentally – I know people who need this on their t-shirts.  Just saying….

6. Hairspray: “Warning: Do Not Spray In Eyes”  But what if my eyelashes are being unruly today??

7. The Warning Labels on Cigarettes: Warning: Smoking Can Increase Health Risks”  Is there seriously anyone on the planet who doesn’t know this already?  Have you ever heard anyone say, “I used to smoke but I quit because I finally read the label and it scared me!”??

8. On A Lego Box: “Choking Hazard. Contains Small Parts.”   ummmm…they are Legos? Does anyone not know they are small?  The warning label should really read: “Warning: If you step on these barefoot in the middle of the night it could cause serious injury. To the kid who didn’t pick them up.”  OR “Warning: Vacuuming up contents will cause serious injury to your vacuum.”

9. On The Peanut Butter Jar: “Warning: Product Contains Peanuts.” What??? Next you are going to tell me that my applesauce contains apples!

10. Entering The Car Wash: “Caution: Do not exit your vehicle while car wash is running.”  Dang! Guess now I’ll have to get that family pass to the water park.

I’m waiting for signs on water bottles that say “Caution: Contents May Be Wet” or a sign that lights up on the front of the car that says, “Caution Vehicle is Moving. Stepping In Front of It May Cause Injury.”   I mean after all….we want to be safe!


8 responses to “Warning Labels

  1. Reblogged this on JesSanmartinLimes and commented:

  2. hahaha…I also love that they have to put “directions” on shampoo, deodorant, and toothpaste. I don’t want to be in a room full of “first-time users.” I’m enjoying your blog!

    • wedelmom says:

      Yes – those are also fun. I also just noticed the other day that the baking soda box had a warning not to use it as an antacid when your stomach is too full. Good tip. I had visions of my children’s volcano demonstrations for science fairs.
      Thank you so much! I have no idea what I’m doing – but I’m having fun! 🙂

  3. joellekiss says:

    was looking for the “like” button.. couldn’t find.. Loved this post – nice little morning crack up 🙂

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