The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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on June 19, 2012

Yesterday our seventeen-year-old daughter posted this on her facebook wall:


She thinks she’s funny.  Ok she is funny.  I would like to go on record however that I have seldom used most of these momisms. Well maybe I’ve used the last one, A LOT, but I have NEVER called one of our kids Fido.  Our dog’s name is Buddy.  At any rate the little stinker got me to thinking: what DO I say to my kids all the time that they are vowing to never say to their own children?  Without further ado, I present our family’s top Momisms (in no particular order):

1. “This house did not come with a maid.”

2. “I’ll bet I can find something for you to do.”

3. “When I need a back-up singer I’ll let you know.”  (This is code in our house for “If you don’t quit interjecting your thoughts into my conversation with your sibling you will be the next one I’ll be ‘talking’ to.”)

4. “When you become perfect you can pick on everybody else.”

5. “Do I LOOK like I’m serious??”

6. “Why don’t you worry about *insert child to whom you are speaking’s name*.  That is a full-time job.”

7. “Did you just call me ‘dude’? I am most definately not a dude.”

8. “Yes it is my job to be grumpy. I’m a mother.”

9. “Well last time I used your *insert lost object* I put it….”

10. “I’m sorry. I don’t speak whine.  Could you use your grown-up person voice?”

11. “I’m at the end of my patience rope and you are fraying my knot.”

12. “Do you HAVE a death wish??”

At least I’ve never told them that if they don’t quit crying I’d give them something to cry about….at least I think I haven’t said that…..


4 responses to “Momisms

  1. momshieb says:

    How about “I only have one nerve left, and you’re on it.” Or “Do NOT make me repeat myself.” Good times, good times……!

    • wedelmom says:

      Ah yes! Those are also good ones. I realized I left off “Well it didn’t grow legs and walk off.” And “Did you realize who you are talking to??”.

  2. Michelle says:

    I don’t have momisms, but some of my favortive teacherisms are “you’re driving me crazy & it’s a short drive” “didn’t you know you were coming to school today?” *when asked if they can borrow pen/pencil* or “you’ve lost your talking privlege for the rest of the day”

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