The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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Am I The Only One?

on June 24, 2012

I figured out this week that I am quirky.  I know this doesn’t really come as a shock to anyone else but it was an enlightening moment for me.  My husband and I switched vehicles for the week.  He took the small SUV that I have been driving for the past year with him when he went out of town for work and I was left with our reliable and well used mini van.  I love that van. It and I have made enumerable trips to pick up kids from school and practice.  It has faithfully carried us to out of town sporting events and vacations and trips home for the holidays.  It’s a great van.  I was it’s almost sole driver for five years.  Then last year my sweet husband surprised me with my new small SUV – the one that I had been wishing for for two years – and he became the van’s sole driver.  As I was pulling out of our driveway Tuesday morning it became apparent to me how much you change in a year.  I almost backed into the neighbor’s fence.  You see, the van is not only bigger but it’s heavier and you have to push the brakes closer to the floor to get it to stop. No they aren’t bad brakes. They’re new. It’s always driven like that.  As my arm swung into the empty space between the front seats as I went to put it into drive because the van’s gear shift is on the column, not the console between the seats,  I realized I’d forgotten how to drive the vehicle that I used to drive. Every day. For five years.  That scares me a little.  It made me start wondering if I am perhaps the weirdest person on the planet.  The more I thought about it, the more of my quirks came to mind.  I’ll let you decide if I’m alone in my oddity.

1 Am I the only person who rotates the copy paper in the storage shelf when we get a new box?  It isn’t like the stuff has a shelf life, but I want to use the old stuff first.

2. Am I the only one who has this urge to call the number on the screen of those “If you’ve taken this drug and had a bad reaction you could be entitled to compensation” commercials and ask them to run down the list of all the current lawsuits?  I mean…you never know…I might have missed something.  If there’s a lawsuit about Advil out there, someone let me know, okay?

3. Does anyone else hear “Swim Away” from “Finding Nemo” every time they hear a commercial for krill oil?

4. Am I the only one who thinks skinny jeans shouldn’t be made in sizes larger than…oh…say…a 6?

5. Is there anyone else who drives by a large beautiful home on a lake, sees the camper parked in the driveway and wonders where it is that they go to “get away’?  Do they go park in the center of busy city?

6. Am I the only one who wakes up mad at someone because I was mad at them in a dream that night?  Well….at least until I become cognizant enough to realize that they didn’t really do anything.

7.  Does anyone else rotate their towels when they put them away so that they get even use and wear?

8. Do the words “Extra Virgin Olive Oil” make anyone else giggle? What does that even mean?

9. Am I the only one who hears the theme song of “Green Acres” when I pass an older farmer in an old truck on the highway?

10. Does anyone else find one hundred ninety-nine things to do on the way to bed and then wake up annoyed with themselves because they didn’t get enough sleep?

11. Am I the only one who has to resist the urge to poke every button of the cell phones on display, not because I care what they do, but just because there are buttons there?

12. Does anyone else lower their head when walking by the store security camera? I don’t plan on robbing the place. I just don’t want to see what I look like on television.

13. Can other people go to bed with dirty dishes in their sink? I can’t.

14. Does anyone else wake up from a dead sleep panicked because they can’t remember if they set the security alarm before they left work….eight hours ago?

15. Is there another person on the planet who is driven crazy by the misuse of there, their and they’re? Apparently not…..

See: I told you I was quirky.  I think probably everyone is in some way. The world would be pretty boring if we all thought and acted the same way. I’ve decided to embrace my quirkiness.  Thankfully my family has become used to it and finds it amusing.  It’s a good thing because I’m pretty sure that Monday when I’m back behind the wheel of my SUV I will probably throw someone into the windshield the first time I try to stop.




3 responses to “Am I The Only One?

  1. You are not the only “quirky” one. My husband would refer to it as “insane,” but I like your terminology better. The whole “their, there, they’re” thing drives me to distraction…but I am an English Teacher, so I guess I have an excuse. I don’t rotate my copy paper, but when I buy anything in the store, I never take the item at the front. I always want the one that is near the back. New stuff is at the back. And it has been mauled less. I, too, hold grudges towards my real life friends based on the things they do to me in my dreams…but that doesn’t happen too often. I usually spend my nights dreaming about broken or overflowing toilets. Apparently, if I have to pee, my body prevents me from finding a washroom in my sleep. I guess that if I did find one, I’d pee the bed. lol. And, I also hate security cameras. Particularly on days when I have left the house without eye make-up. I have pig eyes. You know…all blank. It works on a pig, but not on a human.
    I hope you feel better knowing that there are other “quirky” people in your midst. Who defines what’s normal anyway?

    • wedelmom says:

      Thank you – I do feel better.
      Quirky sounds so much better than weird or insane: both of which I have been accused. Never thought about the stuff from the back of the shelf other than milk. I may now have to add that to my quirk list. Thanks!
      Pig eyes?? That’s a new one. I really did laugh out loud….

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