The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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Appropriate?

on June 27, 2012

One of my biggest concerns in life has always been that I look and act appropriate.  Now I realize that “appropriate” is in the eye of the beholder.  What I think is appropriate and what others think is appropriate can be vastly different.   I know this because I have eyes and ears. 

I am 42 years old.  I don’t mind looking like I’m 42.  Okay, I mind a little, but I don’t EVER want to be one of “those” middle aged women who are still trying to look and act like a teenager. I’m the mother of teenagers. We don’t need more of them in the house.  I’ve been a teenager.  I’m not interested in doing that again.  I’m all about being young at heart but I’m not interested in navigating the shark-infested waters of teen life. I am also not ready to look  or act like someone’s grandmother.  I’m not a grandmother and am in no hurry to become one. Even if I was, I’m not ready to look and act like one. There has to be some middle ground somewhere. My fear is that I will never find it.

About two years ago I lost about fifty pounds. Since that time I have been slowly trying to build a wardrobe in my new size of clothing.  It hasn’t been as easy or as fun as I thought it was going to be. Who would have thought that replacing a wardrobe would be so much work?  So much stress?  I have no idea what I’m looking for most of the time.  I have no idea what “my style” is. My teenage daughters have become my fashion consultants. This is mostly because I know they won’t let me dress in a way that is embarrassing.  While they forbid me from shopping at some stores, “Mother, that is an OLD LADY SWEATSHIRT place!”, they also wouldn’t let me purchase items from their friends’ favorite stores.  Not that I would. I’m not delusional. But I am confused most of the time.

I don’t get what people are wearing lately.   I don’t understand how anyone with a mirror would think that some of the things they wear are a good look for them.  I didn’t realize spandex had become so popular. I have this rule that if I can see rolls or bulges the clothes are too tight.   Evidentially I am in the minority. There is a small segment of the population who look good in  skinny jeans.  Of that segment, 75 percent of them are in Junior High. 2 percent have given birth. (1 of them is a duchess in Great Britain.)   The same holds true for mid-drift shirts. And sleeveless stuff. And short shorts. I’m all about being comfortable with who you are whatever size you are, I just don’t think that the rest of the world needs to see some of the intimate details.  I’m also unsure when bras became a fashion accessory. I’m glad people are wearing them but I really don’t need to see it to believe it.  That neon pink bra under a transparent white shirt doesn’t really work for me but I guess it’s better than the alternative.   I don’t want to see that either. I don’t know why I get so stressed out about buying new clothes. I’ve come to the conclusion that you can wear whatever you want as long as it makes you happy. No one really cares any more.  Obviously.   

Yesterday I walked into my neighborhood grocery store and walking to the check out lane was a woman, I’d guess a little older than I, wearing a bikini.  A very small bikini.  No cover-up. No t-shirt. Just her bikini and some flip-flops.  I guess technically she had on a shirt and shoes (if you stretch the definition of shirt) so they served her. Just when you think you’ve seen everything….

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4 responses to “Appropriate?

  1. Leslie says:

    I totally get what you are saying. I have no idea what to wear. I actually buy all my clothes at a consignment store. It’s the only place I can find jeans that actually hit me at my waist (I like to feel like my jeans will actually stay on).

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