The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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That Is Why I Love Him

on June 28, 2012

   I’ve noticed a trend that disturbs me. One that bothers me to the core of my being. One that I’m sure has been around for as long as there have been men and women but to which I haven’t paid much attention before. It’s the “husband bashing” trend. We all know hoe this works: women find something about their husband that annoys them and then make sure to point out that trait to everyone they know.  These can be people in what appears to be perfectly happy marriages and yet the wife feels the need to trash her husband about something.  Point out his faults. To everyone. Loudly. As I said I’m sure it’s been going on for a long time.  Maybe I just ignored it before. Perhaps we weren’t so loud about our complaints before social networking. Whatever the reason, it bothers me.  I don’t think it’s productive nor conducive to building a strong marriage. I don’t think it is respectful. I won’t do it.  It doesn’t mean I think he’s perfect or without fault. (He chose me for a wife didn’t he?) I just choose not to dwell on those things and instead focus on the things that I love about him.

My husband has been at Kid’s Kamp this week. This was a usual part of our lives for many years up until a few years ago.  He’d go every summer with a group of children from our church.  Every summer. Using vacation time from his “paying job” in order to spend a week, in the heat, being a dorm leader to 10-12 boys.  Boys aged 7-10. Boys who have more energy than they have sense.  Boys who come from all sorts of backgrounds and homes, have all sorts of different behavioral styles and different needs. This wasn’t a vacation this was work.  This was long days spent giving every ounce of energy you have to kids who may or may not appreciate it. But he loved every minute of it.  He loves kids.

Because of some job changes he hasn’t gone to camp for the past three years. I think a part of him missed it and a part of him was happy to use his vacation time to do things with his family.  It just seemed strange those three summers. It occurred to us early this year that it would be the last camp that our youngest son would be attending.  Since their dad had gone to at least one camp with each of our other three children in the past, my husband decided he should volunteer to work again this year. He sent in his application to be a dorm leader and Monday morning went off again, cheerfully, to camp once again.  He’d had some time off. He was ready to go.  He loves kids.

I texted him Monday night to see how he was doing.  His response: “I’m alive.”  I wasn’t sure exactly how he meant that.  I decided that after settling 10 excited 2nd – 4th grade boys into a dorm room and keeping track of them as they got familiar with camp, a couple of them for the first time, “Alive” was pretty good.  Through intermittent texts through the week it sounds as if things have gone well.  Well…there was one text exchange where he mentioned thinking that he might do a reenactment of the story of Abraham and Isaac with a couple of boys, only he might pretend he didn’t see the ram.  *Side Note: There’s another thing I love about him.  He’s funny even when he’s tired and hot. Aside from that he seems to have enjoyed his week.  As much as you can enjoy constant activity with young boys is 100 degree (or better) heat.  I’m sure there where moments when he wondered why he decided to go this year.  Times when he questioned whether his vacation could have been spent doing more enjoyable things.  He hasn’t complained.  He loves kids.

Last night one of our friends, the father of one of the boys in Scott’s dorm room,  posted this picture on face book:

That’s my husband and his buddy Kaleb.  We met Kaleb when he was just a little guy and his parents moved to town and began attending our church about six years ago. We were leaders of the Sunday morning children’s ministries at the time. From the moment he arrived Kaleb has held a special place in our hearts. This was his first year attending camp.  If you would have told us a few years ago that he was going to attend camp  and enjoy it we may have looked at you funny.  Kaleb has Aspberger’s Syndrome.  The changes we have seen in him over the last few years are a testimony to God’s great power and his amazing parents.  He’s a neat kid and he has overcome many things. There are still things that make him unsure, however, like riding in a go-cart with someone he isn’t familiar. He wasn’t tall enough to drive himself.  So my husband  he folded his 6’4″ frame into a child size go-cart and took his buddy for a spin.  He looks comfortable doesn’t he? Everyone loves to have a stearing wheel between their knees.  Now look at his face.  That’s his “I’m enjoying this” face. Now look a Kaleb’s face.  That’s his happy look. That’s always been my husband’s heart for Kaleb. And for every kid he has ever met.  He loves kids.

And that is just one of the many reasons why I love him.  See? It isn’t so hard to focus on the good stuff….

If you look for the bad in people, expecting to find it, you surely will. 

-Abraham Lincoln

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

– Audrey Hepburn

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