The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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It Doesn’t Take Much….

on July 3, 2012

I’ve come to the conclusion today that it just doesn’t take much to mess with my mind.  I know this isn’t really a revelation but I just don’t think like most people. It has been Monday all day to me. This is understandable when you consider that I took a vacation day from work yesterday. When I arrived at work this morning all my usual Monday morning stuff was waiting for me.  Makes sense that it would feel like Monday. I’m a little scared that I kept dating everything with yesterday’s date however.  There’s a calendar right in front of me.  My computer has the date displayed. So does my work phone. And my cell phone.  You’d think I could look up.  I finally caught on to the Tuesday thing about the time I was done for the day. Some days I miss my brain….other days I just acknowledge it’s gone.  Well not really gone or I would be unable to breathe. I’ll just acknowledge that it doesn’t work like any other persons.  Here are some things that have set it off this week:

1. I noticed while fueling the vehicle that one of the lines on the Warning Sign says, “Discharge Static Electricity Before Fueling.”  How does one do that? Zap the person next to you before getting out? How do you even know if you are packing static?

2. There’s a billboard in one of the small Nebraska towns we drove through this weekend advertising “Bull Accident Insurance”.  I don’t think I want to know what that really is but my mind came up with some pretty good possibilities.

3. Have you ever noticed that everyone at Wal-Mart walks down the middle of the aisle? This may be why I don’t usually shop there but I had few other options this weekend. Apparently standard road rules are different once you enter the parking lot of this fine shopping center.

4. I don’t understand all the confusion as to how to resolve the tie during women’s 100 meter race at the Olympic trials.  Did these people not go to elementary school? Re-do! (Yes I realize one of the runners eventually pulled out, but, come on! This shouldn’t have taken so much thought.)

5. The head line “Mexican Doctors Successfully Remove Tumor Larger  Than Person Carrying It” messed with me. How is that possible? After reading the article I discerned that the boy’s actual body weight was 26 pounds but he weighed 59 pounds before the 33 pound tumor was removed.  Ok. That’s confusing….nice headline.

6. Watching tv last night we caught a commercial for the latest greatest sunglasses. They help you see in HD.  Ummmm…Shouldn’t you already see in HD? If you don’t, should you be shopping for sunglasses or making an appointment with the eye doctor?

7. Another sign in small town Nebraska: “Welcome To The Middle Of Nowhere”   You’re proud of that?  I’d be looking for a new P.R. person, just sayin’…

8. Why DON’T the number of hot dogs per package match the number of buns per package?  Steve Martin was right….annoying!

9.  There was a sign on the bath house door that said, “Please do not prop open the door. Birds and Moths will make nests.”  Moths make nests?  How did I miss that?

10. Sunday morning some lady had the shower house door propped open while she primed at the mirror. Was the sign to hard to read or did she just not feel it applied to her.  I finished my business quickly: I ain’t getting in trouble for someone else.  Besides, I was afraid a moth was going to swoop in and start building.

There you have it.  Things that have taken more wattage out of my brain than I can afford to give.  At least I have another day off tomorrow for the holiday.  Of course that may mean that Thursday will be Monday all day too…..


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