The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

A topnotch site

When Silence Is Golden

on July 25, 2012

I am the first to admit that often times the hinge on the door between my brain and my mouth gets stuck open.  I find myself often wondering (or saying out loud) “Wait. Did that just come out of my mouth or did I just think that?”   I am forever wishing I could grab something I said and push it back in. Unfortunately life doesn’t work that way.  Once it is out of your mouth it is out.  Your only shot  then is the hope that no one heard the really unwise thing you just said. Nine times out of ten someone heard it. (I guess my voice carries.)   I would like to believe that I am old enough and wise enough to control that trap door and know when not to say things.  I’m old enough. Wise? Hmmmm….. not some days. But then there are days that I am.

Days like yesterday when I left a situation before I said something I would regret.  I went away before I let my hurt feelings take over and release all the really not so nice thoughts running through my brain.  No one else needed to hear them.  I didn’t need to hear them. Those are the times you go against your mother’s teaching and not share.  Times you realize saying what you are thinking will not be beneficial. That’s when silence is golden.

There are times when a really flippant remark is at the tip of my tongue. I really like to make people laugh.  I think I’m funny.  I forget that other people don’t. Around those people it is probably better that I stop and remember that what I am about to say, though funny, could possibly be taken the wrong way and hurt the other person’s feelings.  Or make them mad. I wouldn’t have done it on purpose but that doesn’t change the fact that I did.  So some days instead of going for the laugh I laugh inside my head instead and keep that trap door shut.  Who needs to cause more tension?  That’s when silence is golden.

Ever met a person who doesn’t believe they are ever wrong?  Those people annoy me more than I can express. I don’t understand the thinking. I don’t understand how anyone can be so insecure and immature as to never admit that they made a mistake or did the wrong thing. Of course then I look at how some people raise their children and understand COMPLETELY how it happens. (Wait. Did that just come out of my mouth??)  At any rate I don’t enjoy dealing with people like that (Does anyone?) and find myself having to push down the feeling of needing to squash them like a bug.  I’ve learned that arguing with them is a waste of time and energy so why do it? Let them discover in a much more embarrassing way they were wrong. I’m cool with that.  I don’t need to do it. That’s when silence is golden.

I was reading an article about Christian Bale’s visit to Aurora when something caught the corner of my eye.  It was a link to an article about the Paterno family’s latest statement.  I was struck by the contrast of the two articles.  One was about an actor who quietly and without fanfare went to express his sympathy over a tragedy he had nothing to do with.  The other is a press release from a family who has expressed less sympathy for the victims of a tragedy than they have expressed for the legacy of a man who was at least on the periphery of that tragedy. I understand that at some level.  We defend the ones we love. We get loud and vocal if we believe there is a threat to the reputation of a person we care about.  It’s human. In this case, however, the family may want to stop and think about how this is making them look.  Wether they or I or any one else agree with the actions and sanctions of the past few weeks it doesn’t really matter. Every word they say makes them look more uncaring and gives validation to the report released by Mr. Freeh: that reputation was more important than the victims in this case.   They might want to look at this and consider this to be one of those times

When Silence Is Golden


4 responses to “When Silence Is Golden

  1. momshieb says:

    I have a friend, a special education teacher, who once told me that she had “OTMOTM syndrome”. When I asked what it was, she said, “On the mind, out the mouth syndrome”. And I knew that I finally had a diagnosis for myself!!
    Such a hard lesson to learn!!!

  2. Kristi says:

    So good. I tell my middle school students, “just because it pops into your head, does not mean it needs to pop out of your mouth.” Maybe the reason I LIKE that advice so much is because I NEED it so much. Maybe we should all just resort to duct tape! 🙂 Also appreciated your comments on how all of this relates to current events.

    • wedelmom says:

      I’ve often contemplated making duct tape strips with lips on them. That way we could still be pretty and not get into trouble. 🙂
      Thank you so much!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: