The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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Kid Quotes #5

on August 11, 2012

I think I have shared before that our youngest daughter is the queen of using the wrong word at the wrong time.  One of my all time favorite examples is from last spring. I was driving the youngest two home from school, the windows rolled down because it was a beautiful day.  Jakob decided he wanted his hand to feel the cool breeze of the glorious day so he stuck his hand and half his arm out of the back window. (We have child safety windows in the back so they only roll down half way.  He couldn’t stick half his body out like a dog.) I asked him to not stick it out too far because I didn’t want his arm to get hit with something kicked up off the street. Suddenly Lyndsie, who has a tendency to feel the need to parent him on occasion: “Jakob! Get your arm back in. Your hand is going to get decapitated!” I wonder what the real word is for that? Dehanditated?

Lyndsie isn’t the only one who does things like that.  A few years ago she found a bruise on her leg and had no idea where it came from. That isn’t uncommon for our fairest of skinned third child.  Brittnie, my honor student keep in mind, said to her, “You bruise like a cantaloupe!”   She obviously isn’t my fresh fruit expert.

Speaking of food, I was pondering this week the weird names we call food at our house because of the things my kids said when they were little.  Thanks to Erik (our oldest) every summer we look forward to “water stuff” (watermelon) and “Stick corn” (corn on the cob). When he was a toddler he wouldn’t drink anything that wasn’t called juice so “moo-juice” (milk) and “pipe juice” (water) were born.   Brittnie brought us “rubon” (rhubarb) and cutie-cumbers.  From Lyndsie “swirling ice cream” (homemade ice cream) became a favorite treat. Both girls preferred “naked noodles” (spaghetti without the sauce) when they were little.  Lyndsie loved her “broc-trees” (broccoli) and had a special love for “black finger pokers” (black olives.  Yes – she stuck them on her fingers. Yes. I let her.)  Jakob’s favorite soup was “chicken with those lumps” (chicken and dumpling) ans he didn’t like apples “with their shell on”.  He still to this day won’t drink “fizzy stuff” (anything with carbonation).  Funny how your kids change your vocabulary.

As I blogged earlier this week we’ve had a less than fun kind of week at our house.  The day following the large girl-explosion I was talking to Brittnie to see if hormones were in better check. Me: “You do realize you were arguing about arguing, right?”  B: “Yeah. I know. Sorry.” Me: “You do know this is going to hit a blog, right?” B: “Yeah. Nothing is sacred any more.”   Sacred? Is she kidding?

Jakob returned home from spending 12 days visiting grandmothers.  As I was hugging him hello I asked him if he missed me. “Sure.” he said.  Me: “That wasn’t convincing. It’s ok. I know grandmas are more fun than moms.” J: “Weeeellllll. Look at it this way mom. You’ll be a fun grandma some day.”  My little ray of hope!

We were shoe shopping yesterday and as Jakob was trying on shoes that are bigger than mine I made a sad face. J: “Don’t worry Mom. I’ll always be your baby no matter how big I get. I’ll stay with you forever.” Me: “Oh no. You aren’t supposed to stay with me forever. You are supposed to grow up and move and live your own life. That’s the way it works.”  J: “I can still come for supper though, right?”

Every year the band has picture buttons made of each member so parents can wear them during marching competitions. We had them made with a picture of both girls this year so that I wouldn’t be hunched forward sporting two buttons this year.  The girls brought me the finished product yesterday. Me: “I love them. What a great picture! Look how cute you both are!” B: “I know right? We’re adorable.”  pause “Wait. That didn’t sound humble did it?”  Ok. I started it.

At the grocery store buying food for next week Jakob was keeping track of what I was planning for meals.  He liked all the selections. “Yes! Mom you ROCK!”  Me: “Why? Because I cook food that you like?” J: “Well….that helps.”  The way to a man’s heart….

The girls were leaving to pick up their school schedules and were giddy. My husband said to them, “You are officially geeks.  I never cared about  my school schedule until about November each year.” B: “Yep. We’re geeks and we know it.”  At that point, because she is my daughter, she started singing that line to the all familiar tune of “Party Anthem”.  I was so proud.



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