The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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An Answer For Everything

on August 13, 2012

Our oldest daughter posted this on Facebook the other day.  She found it hilarious.

She’s right.  It is pretty funny. What she didn’t realize was that her dear mother would have an answer for all of them.  Here we go:

Dear Teenager,

1: Aladdin (shall we spell it right?) was  homeless because he was an orphan in a caste society.  Aladdin had dreams and goals and didn’t expect anyone to take care of him. You may hang out with all the dirty homeless motivated orphans you like. You may NOT hang out with people who are homeless because they are “occupying whatever street” and expect others to take care of them.  Big difference.

2. If you would like to become the live-in maid and cook for seven 100-year-old bachelor dwarves be my guest. Remember they didn’t own a dishwasher, washing machine or vacuum cleaner.  Hope you enjoy woodland animals.

3. Pinocchio also became half donkey and ended up dead on a beach.  Want to go there?

4. First of all, Robin Hood didn’t steal for himself. He stole for poor repressed people.  I don’t think you know anyone who is that repressed. If you do know someone who has to give all their money for taxes (note – ALL) and want to steal for them that is your decision, but please remember that Mr. Hood ended up in jail and was scheduled to be executed. You wanna take a chance that a prince is going to arrive and pardon you just in time?

5. Tarzan wore a loin cloth and Jane definitely wore clothes.   However, I will concede that if you move to the jungle and live alone among apes you can dress (or not dress) any way that you want.  Remember there will be no cell phone service there.

6. If you will recall, Sleeping Beauty (whose name is AURORA by the way) was betrothed to her prince when she was an infant.  That is why he came looking for her.  See? You should let your parents arrange your marriage.

7. Next time your wicked step mother locks you in your room and your fairy godmother shows up to help, you have my permission to sneak out of the house. Until that time – SCRUB THE FLOORS! (By the way….she still had to be home by midnight.)

Yep.  My poor kids.  I have an answer for everything…..

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10 responses to “An Answer For Everything

  1. Well done, very well done. I can’t wait to have teenagers of my own, so I can one day outsmart them.

  2. This is a great one! Well done. You’re so sharp so kids can get past you 🙂

  3. Big WOW!!!! Very clever!!! Love, love, loved it!!!

  4. momshieb says:

    Very funny, but I do have one bone to pick. My three kids spent some time “occupying” city streets, to make a point and to make a difference, but they were never homeless, lucky them. Just sayin!

    • wedelmom says:

      Totally my point: “occupying” because you have no choice or temporarily to try to make a difference is one thing, making it a way of life because you feel like someone “owes” you something – totally different. My oldest daughter spent a week working on Skid Row this summer. Homelessness isn’t always bad, but the attitude behind it can be. 😉

  5. Big Sis says:

    LOVE IT!

  6. Janelle says:

    Love this! Very well done!

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