The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines I Don’t Get #3

on August 17, 2012

Anyone who knows me knows that once I notice something and find it interesting or funny an obsession is born.  I see it everywhere. No I am not on any hallucinogenic drugs.  I’ve just got a warped personality that gets wrapped around things for a while. My latest? You’re reading it.  I can’t help but note the really interesting headlines I see throughout the week.  Sorry.  A weekly blog has been born. Well at least until something else catches my attention.   Until then here are my favorites from this week:

1. “South Africa Goes Big On Elephant Birth Control” – well yes. I imagine it would be big. 

2. “Man Mistaken For A Floating Corpse” – I learned the ‘dead man float’ when I took swimming lessons in grade school but come on!

3. “Driver Swerves To Avoid Moose, Hits Bear Instead” – Now that is just a bad day.

4. “40 Year Old Stars Who Only Look 30” – What will tomorrow’s follow-up article be? “40 Year Old Stars Who Act Like They’re 10”

5. “Out Of Date Home Decorating Fads From The 1980’s and 1990’s” – Is there a need to show people that orange shag isn’t really all that fashionable any longer? Really??  I hope this isn’t a DIY site.

6. “Five Signs You Are Dating A Real Man” – #1 – He’s not leaking air…..

7. “8 Ingredients You Never Want To See On Your Nutrition Label” – #1 – Arsenic….

8. “When A Guy Can Cry” – Ummmm….when he wants to?  Why do I have a feeling that somewhere in this article there is a reference to a severed limb??

9. “How Tall Is The Average Celeb?” – Do they mean their acting is average, their income is average or their height is average?  Aside from that – who cares??

10. “Pigs At State Fairs May Carry Swine Flu” – So might the person who used the restroom right before you did.  Your point? At least they aren’t carrying the avian flu.  Now that would be weird.

11. “5 Siblings Get Married On Same Day” – follow-up headline: “Mother of the groom, bride, bride, groom, bride, in a coma.”

12. “Paint Turns Lawn Green Again” – Well…providing it’s green paint I’m guessing. Why haven’t I thought of this before?

13. “Handless Man Charged With Throwing Rocks At KFC” – Huh?

14. “Snooki Told She’s ‘Not Ready’ To Be A Mom” – DUUUUUH! I’ve never watched the show or read an article about this person. All I know about her is what  pops across my headline browser and I could have told you that!

15. “Romney Defeats Obama In Roach Race” – that one is just too easy……

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2 responses to “This Week’s Headlines I Don’t Get #3

  1. I look forward to these posts every week now!!! Hilarious!! #3 and #13 really had me going!!! Great job!!

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