The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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Some More Things I Don’t Get

on August 29, 2012

I was home for lunch with my husband today and we were watching some of the coverage of Hurricane Isaac on The Weather Channel.  As I listened to the wind-gusted reporter talk about how they were evacuating the people behind him the only thought in my head was, “So you are standing there…..why?”  I’m all about being dedicated to your job but come on! We don’t need to see you blow across the street and get slammed into the side of the building to prove this is a nasty storm.  We believe you.  Some days I think advancements in technology are just not all that wonderful.

Before I got home for lunch I stopped at the post office.  While waiting in line I noticed a sign attached to the front of the counter.  “Please Do Not Place Children On The Counter.”  So much for shipping the kids to Grandma’s house.  It kind of reminded me of the big signs on the diaper changing stations that read, “Do Not Leave Child Unattended.”  What? You mean this isn’t a “child docking” place for me to use so I can shop in peace?  What a let down.

The other day my husband and I went out for lunch.  It has always disturbed me to see the signs in restaurant restrooms reminding workers that they have to wash their hands before returning to handle food.  There is just something unsettling about people who need to be reminded of that simple sanitation rule making my salad for me.  EW!  This week I was even more bemused to find another sign posted on the mirror with explicit instructions (including pictures) on HOW to wash your hands.  1 – turn on the water. 2. – get hands wet…… No. I’m not kidding.  Do you suppose this sign is for all the employees who didn’t graduate from Kindergarten??  Keep them away from my salad please.

While pumping gas I started reading the warning sign on the gas pump.  (Hey – I was bored.)  One of the instructions was “Do not hold nozzle next eyes or nose.”  Seriously? People need to be told that?

Exiting the automatic car wash I noticed the large unit that runs the dryer. It has an electrical cord as big as my arm running into it and a large sign that says, “Warning: Disconnect Power Source Before Servicing Unit”  I’m sorry but if your service man isn’t smart enough to know he needs to do that first you might want to rethink letting him anywhere near your equipment.  How bright can he be?

Finally, my friend posted this on Facebook last night:

This one had me pondering things for quite a while.  Do you suppose they order their stock from  the commercials?  If I check out in the next 15 minutes will they double my order for free?  Do I have to pay an extra processing fee for multiple items? If I am one of the first 30 customers will they throw in a free lint remover?  Why don’t I see any Ginsu Knives? (I’ve always had a secret desire to cut a pop can in half with my kitchen knives.)  Are those Forever Lazys all lined up there? (How cool would it be to cut a pop can in half while wearing an adult blanket sleeper???) What if I missed some really exciting commercial and I don’t have the one product that will revolutionize my life? Oh. Wait.  I can find the “as seen on tv” stuff just about anywhere.  Never mind. Guess I won’t be running to this mall after all.  What a bummer.

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2 responses to “Some More Things I Don’t Get

  1. Janelle says:

    We were at the Grand Canyon this spring, and a sign above a toilet in a public washroom read “please don’t drink the water”!

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