The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #7

on September 14, 2012

So seriously today I was saddened by all the headlines blaring about the inappropriate pictures that were published in a french tabloid invading the privacy of The Duchess of Cambridge.  Yes – I am intrigued by the British Royal Family but not to the level that I care to invade their private lives.  What annoys me further is that all the headlines and news articles blasting the french rag are only bringing more attention to the situation.  If they would simply shut up how many people would have seen the photos?  How many people do you suppose have seen them now?  Shame on all of them!

Sorry – ranting done – on with this week’s “news”:

  1. “Cops Say Man Stole More Than 1,100 Library Books” – All at the same time? Did you capture hm at his chiropractor’s office?
  2. “Grandmother Gives Birth To Daughter’s Baby” – Does anyone else have this song running through their head now?  
  3. “Diet Friendly Foods That Backfire” – You mean the foods that leave such an awful taste in your mouth that you have to get rid of it by eating chocolate?  Those diet friendly foods?
  4. “How Do You Kick A Ball Into Your Own Face?” – How hard can that be really? Easier if you aren’t trying to do it I’d guess….
  5. “Worst Vending Machine Foods” – Are there ‘best’ vending machine foods?? While I’m asking….is that really food?
  6. “Ways To Prevent Choking” – Ummm….chew first?
  7. “New NFL Pants Reveal Unflattering View” – The old ones didn’t? I’m sorry linemen are great guys but there is no way to make that view flattering….
  8. “The Surprising Reason You Are Short” – and to think I’ve been blaming my 4’11” grandmother’s genes all these years….
  9. “Mary Todd Lincoln To Be Retried For Insanity” – Who’s insane here?  I get the historical interest, but seriously?  Suppose any of the witnesses are still alive??
  10. “Decor That Reduces Stress” – Self Cleaning?
  11. “American Dream Lives, Just Not In The U.S.” – HUH??  I really did have to read that one twice. Okay…five times. How could that possibly even work?
  12. “Anxious Women Age Faster” –  Is that why they call them ‘worry lines’? 
  13. “What Bieber’s Mom Almost Names Him” – Jill?
  14. “The Science Behind Throwing Like A Girl” –  Ummmmm….lack of the Y chromosome?  Isn’t that science called “Biology’? I wonder how much this study cost us?
  15. “America’s Most Expensive Hotel Rooms” – I’m guessing you aren’t going to find these babies listed on Travelocity.
  16. “French Dating Site ‘Adopt-A-Guy’ Opens A Store” – Okay I’ve heard of mail order brides, but….seriously?  How many things are wrong in that sentence?  Let’s start with using the word ‘adopt’ in a dating site and go from there shall we?
  17. “Relationship Lessons From Divorced People” – Now that’s interesting.  Is that like hairstyle tips from Yul Brenner? Fashion advice from Lady Gaga?
  18. “Mom Charges $350 To Not Watch Your Kids” – Are you kidding? I’ve been doing it for free all these years?? Why can’t I think up this stuff?
  19. “Is Your Commute Slowly Killing You?” – Isn’t that better than having it abruptly kill you??
  20. “Over The Top Sundae Costs $1,000” – It better be over the top.  Like looking from the top of a secluded mountain while someone give me a massage and pedicure while I eat it.

Today’s bonus has to come with a picture: “Man Shows Off World Record Mohawk”:

His parents must be SO proud!

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2 responses to “This Week’s Headlines #7

  1. No!! I never heard that song but thanks for putting it in my head today!! It’s funny I kept rereading your #11, didn’t get it and then read your comment and felt better about myself!!! haha!!! Great post!

    • wedelmom says:

      I don’t know why stupid songs get stuck in my head. Part of my “charm” I guess. Glad I could introduce you to that one!
      #11 – takes a minute doesn’t it? 😉

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