The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #8

on September 21, 2012

Before I start with my favorite headlines this week I have to mention a couple of things that have skittered across my mind this week while looking for those headlines. 

  • Has anyone else noticed that they closer the election gets that more articles are produced making the election seem further and further away?  It’s like tooth pain. Slowly increasing with intensity each day and making your dentist appointment seem like it is light years away.
  • How many articles can be published decrying the publishing of photos which is only making more people want to publish those photos? Seriously.  Drop it people and it’ll go away.
  • Who the heck is Honey Boo Boo and why is she always in my “tending” feed? I know.  People like to stop and stare at car accidents too.

Ok…on with the “news”!

  1. “The Male Make-up Capital Of The World” – There is one of those? I wonder how far it is from the female make-up capital. For that matter I never knew make-up had a gender.
  2. “Woman’s Starbucks Diet” – Sign me up!
  3. “Make-up Fads To Skip” – I’m really hoping glitter is somewhere on the list.
  4. “Is Your Job Killing You?” – Depends on the day.
  5. “Signs You Have A Shopping Problem” – #1: Declined
  6. “Surprising Uses For Coca Cola” – I don’t even want to know. If it eats rust off of something then I have to consider what it is doing in people’s stomachs.  Ew!
  7. “Signs That She’s Flirting” – You can write all the articles in the world.  Some guys still aren’t going to get it.  Just saying….
  8. “Death Row Inmate Claims He Is To Heavy To Be Executed” – Doesn’t the prison feed him?  I’m sure they’d be happy to get him in better shape first.
  9. “Reasons Some Guys Are Immature” – Now we are looking for reasons? Hmmm….maybe we’re looking for someone to blame.  The words “mama’s boy” spring to mind.
  10. “Baseball Star Gives Daughter Body Part As Souvenir” – Is this a collection you want her to start? Body parts? What happened to collecting dolls? Baseball cards?  Anything but body parts?
  11. “Job Interview Killers” – Do you actually have to intervirew for a job with the mob?
  12. “Television Stars With Obscene Salaries” – Ummmm…all of them?
  13. “Worst Things To Say To Your Husband” – Remember that screwdriver you used to like so much….?
  14. “Seven Things That Shouldn’t Be In Your Closet” – #1: Moths….#2: Skeletons….
  15. “Ten Ways Puppies Are Worse Than Children” – Constant yapping springs to mind.  Oh….wait….you said the puppies were worse….
  16. “Surprising Causes For Body Odor and Bad Breath” –  I don’t care what the cause is I can pretty much assure you that the cure is the same.
  17. “Mom Arrested For Letting Her Kids Play Outside” – That’s a crime? According to whom? The fresh air police?  
  18. “Woman Jailed For Not Deleting Facebook Account” – You can have people arrested for that? If that’s the case I know a few people who should be called in to crime stoppers…..
  19. “$7 Million In Gold Found In House Of Deceased NV Recluse” – Guess you can’t take it with you.
  20. “Baby Born In Parking Lot Of NH Race Track” – Seriously?  Next time try racing to the hospital.

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6 responses to “This Week’s Headlines #8

  1. Dying to know what city is, indeed, the Male Make-up Capitol of the World!!
    Forget the causes of bad breath and body odour–I am more amazed by how many people have never been introduced to deodorant and tooth paste.
    Job Interview Killers! hahaha. Laughed out loud at this one! I am now afraid of applying for work.

    • wedelmom says:

      I’ve come to the conclusion there are some things I could live my whole life not knowing. The Male Make-up Capitol might be one of them.
      It is mind boggling that with all the products available to help control odor some people can’t seem to figure it out isn’t it?
      I had a picture in my head of Charles Manson behind a desk when I first read that. Perhaps I should get some more sleep….

  2. haha!! Love it!!! I’m really worried about this #17!!! If you don’t see a blog from me in awhile I’m probably in jail!!!

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