The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #9

on September 28, 2012

By far the most disturbing headline that caught my eye this week was one about Honey-Boo-Boo being slated for more shows.  I have to say I’ve never watched a minute of this program so I probably shouldn’t judge but from the things I’ve seen, read and heard other people say about it I am pondering if the nation’s IQ  has dropped drastically.  At some level I understand it….people like to stop and stare at car accidents too.

On with the news!

  1. “Child Reveals Parents Crime” – Want everybody to know what you do in your home? Let them talk to your kids.
  2. “State Bans Smiling On Driver’s Licence” – Do you suppose that’s because no is smiling when the cops pull them over?  Do I look that different when I’m frowning as opposed to smiling?
  3. “Purging Dead Voters” – I hope they mean their registrations….
  4. “Gun Range Says Booze And Firearms DO Mix” – Remind me to avoid that place on Friday night.
  5. “Cat Running For Mayor” – Oh why not? 
  6. “Seat Belt Laws For Pets” – Well since we have to keep our kids in their car seats until their wedding day…why not? I’m going to miss watching the dogs with their heads sticking out the windows though.
  7. “Seven Worst Ways To Borrow Money” – #1: Anonmously  #2: At gun point….
  8. “The Science of Smootching” – There’s a science to that? All these years I’ve just been winging it….
  9. “Five Biggest Calorie Bombs At The Fair” – I’m going to guess anything with the words ‘on a stick’ or ‘fried’ in the discription.   Who watches their calories at the fair anyway? 
  10. “Dad Sends Toy Into Space” – Wish I’d have thought of that years ago.  Our oldest son’s talking Barney springs to mind. “He’s become a space explorer” sounds so much better than “The battery box fell out? I wonder how that happened…..”
  11. “Six Awesomely Dorky DIY Projects” – I’m confused.  Do I want to do these projects or not? Is ‘dork’ a good thing here??
  12. “How The Wealthy Got That Way” – ummmmm…..work ethic?  Good investments? Does it matter?
  13. “California Green-Lights Driverless Cars” – Driverless cars?  Please tell me they are talking about  the ones with the drivers so short you can’t see their heads above the head rest.
  14. “School Paints Midfield Logo at 45 Yard Line” – I’m guessing the math club was not in charge of that project.
  15. “Hands Free 525 Mile Ride On A Motorcycle” – I hope he didn’t have to turn anywhere.
  16. “Toxic Cleaning Products You Should Avoid” – I always knew cleaning was going to kill me.
  17. “125 Metorites For Sale” – Who owns those? Again – why didn’t I think of this??
  18. “10 Most Accident Prone Cars” – Now we are blaming the car? Really??
  19. “Ten Worst Calls By Replacement Referees” – They got the list down to ten?  That took some work.
  20. “Thieves Take $10,000 Worth of Wedding Presents Left Outside Overnight” –  Must have overlooked the tiny detail ‘take gifts inside after reception’ in the wedding plan. $10,000?  That’s a lot of toasters!

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One response to “This Week’s Headlines #9

  1. haha!!! I love watching for dogs hanging out the window…bummer!! I especially love #10 and #16!!!

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