The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

A topnotch WordPress.com site

Kid Quotes #12

on October 15, 2012

It occurred to me today that since our weekends have gotten so busy I’ve neglected to post Kid Quotes for a few weeks.  It’s possible that because we’ve been so busy lately I find my kids less amusing. It may be that they are tired and cranky so they are less amusing.  It could also be that I am the tired cranky one. Any of those things are possible.  I’m to busy, tired and cranky to notice. The most likely scenario is that I’ve just been distracted because they are still pretty funny.  So even though its Monday let me catch you up on the craziness at our house the last few weeks. (Well – the craziness I can remember!)

I was dropping 10-year-old Jakob off at school when a pretty little girl smiled and waved at him. Me: “Is she in your class.” J: “Yep.” Me: “Is she nice?” J: “She’s Spanish Mom.” Me: “What does that have to do with whether or not she’s nice?” (I was a little worried I was raising a racist for a moment.) J: “She only speaks Spanish so I don’t know if what she says to me is nice or not.”  OH!  Okay!

14-year-old Lyndsie was lamenting that she didn’t know whether or not she wants to go to culinary school or be a music teacher when she grows up. L: “I like to do both things so I don’t know what to do.”  Her ever helpful 18-year-old sister, Brittnie: “You could do both!  You’ll be like the singing chef only with a trumpet.”  This of course prompted their father to break out his best  Muppets “Swedish Chef” impression. Supper is never quiet at our house…..

Jakob has had a cold for a few weeks.  I have been the ever vigilant mom making sure he is blowing his nose, taking his medicine and checking to make sure he feels okay. One day the conversation went like this:  Me: “Did you blow your nose?” J: “Yeeees Mom.” Me: “Did you take your pill?” J: “Yeeeeees mom.” Me: “Are you sure you feel okay?” J: “Mom! YES!”  Me: “Hey! I’m a mom. It’s my job to worry and nag.” J: “Yeah.  You’re really good at your job.”

Lyndsie, being 14, was bemoaning all that is wrong in the world. Me: “Do you like anything?” L: “Sure.” pause…thinking…”I like ice cream.”  That’s all she could come up with? I’d better stock up!

Brittnie while studying her AP Lit & Comp was reading to me her exciting assignment all about reading essays. As she finished the paragraph, in her most animated voice: “I’m sure some day I will find the perfect man who will appreciate my joyous appreciation for essays.”  Huh?  The kid needs to get out of the classroom for a while.

21-year-old Erik came home for fall break.  As his baby brother launched himself at him for a hug he said, “Holy height! When did he get this tall?”  A little while later Jakob was taking off his shoes. E: “Holy foot! What size is he wearing?”  Because this was still on his mind the next day the following conversation happened. E: “Just remember that even if you get taller than me I will still be the big brother and I will be trained to have the tactics to take you down.” J: “If I keep playing football I’ll have the tactics to take you down too.” Me: “Be careful Jakob.  He’ll have a stun gun.” E: “Yeah and a 9 mm pistol.” Me: “You will NOT point a pistol at your little brother!” E: “I will if he’s a breaks a law and I have to chase him down.” J: “Good thing to remember.”  Boys….sigh….

On the same trip we passed a “classic” mustang.  J: “What does classic mean anyway?”  Me: “Old.  I’m going to start making you guys call me classic instead of old.” E: “Mom you aren’t that old.” J: “Yeah Mom you aren’t old.”  Then on a stage whisper to his big brother: “Where are we going with this?”

Jakob: “Back in the day I used to like….” interrupted by Erik: “Back in the day??”  Me, laughing: “You sound like an old man.” J: “Well I meant 4 or 5 years ago.” E: “Boy your day hasn’t even started yet!”

His sisters were giving Erik a hard time about hygiene. E: “I shower every day thank you very much.” B: “Soooo….it’s just when you come home you don’t shower?” 

The girls came home from a band trip and told us about the ride home. Apparently the kids they were riding with were telling scary stories. L: “Yeah! Ask Brittnie what her scary story was!” Me: “Ok. What was your scary story?” B:” One day a long time ago I asked for a puppy and my parents brought home Lyndsie. The End.” (I must pause here to note that I really did think their older brother was going to die from laughing so hard.) L: “See? Do you people see what I have to put up with all the time??” (I have mentioned she’s the dramatic one?) Me: “Yes you poor oppressed child.  I don’t know how you’ve taken it all these years. I shall beat your older siblings immediately.” L: (fake hurt voice) “Thank you.”  B: “If you’d have bought me that puppy we wouldn’t have these issues.” 

We are in the process of cleaning out the shed in the back.  Brittnie came home for lunch when her Dad was hauling stuff out.  Me: “Look Britti!  There’s your old pink Barbie bike….and your inline skates….and your Barbie car…sniff….sniff…” B: “Are you going to be like this about everything until we move?” Me: “Probably.” B: “Oh joy!”  She’s such a stink.

Brittnie was telling me how the band director told she and Lyndsie it was weird that they get along so well. Me: “I guess it is a little unusal for siblings to get a long as well as you guys do.” B: “I guess I just figured not getting along wasn’t an option around here.”  Smart girl.

Watching Jakob’s football game on Sunday Erik noted that his hand slipped up while he was blocking .  E: “Got him in the jugular. Atta boy!” Me: “Is that legal?” E: “Sure it’s legal.” pause “As long as you don’t squeeze.”  Oh boy….

That’s about all I can remember off the top of my head.  I’m sure some more will come back to me later. Hopefully I’ll remember to get them into draft form this time around.  If nothing else we are taking a road trip to have family pictures taken tomorrow before Erik returns to college.  Bet your life that that ride will be enough to fill next week’s blog by itself.  My kids are at their best when they are all together!

Advertisements

8 responses to “Kid Quotes #12

  1. Hiya we nominated you for the reality awards. Check us out for details.

  2. javaj240 says:

    I’m going to institute a policy around here that “classic” shall replace “old”. I love it!

  3. javaj240 says:

    Yes. Yes, I do! I am drafting a Prolamation right now to reflect this change (because I am the law around these here parts)!

    • wedelmom says:

      And that is the way it should be. I’d draft one too but my kids would just ignore it. I’m the law but they are the mob. Unfortunately the mob tends to rule around here some days. King of like when I said, “I’m very uptown you know” to our oldest son this weekend and he started laughing hysterically….

  4. javaj240 says:

    My husband and I were smart. We only have the one. She can never outnumber us. That’s where you went wrong. You created the mob. LOL!!!

  5. Janelle says:

    My husband can do a pretty good Swedish Chef impersonation, too!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: