The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #22

on December 28, 2012

newspaper

In local news it snowed quite a bit yesterday and the pastor who owns the bobcat and usually clears the sidewalks  is on vacation.  The other pastor is home with the stomach flu.  That left the ever loyal secretary to clear the reeeaaallllly long sidewalks around the church of the lovely white stuff this morning.  I’m just thankful we contract our the parking lot.  At any rate:  my hands are killing me so if there are typos….please forgive me.  I am an old lady who isn’t in as great of shape as she had hoped.

In other news:

  1. “What Every Woman Should Know About Love By Age 30” – It doesn’t work like a Disney movie or romance novel.
  2. “Hamburgers In An Edible Wrapper” – Isn’t the wrapper technically already edible.  Beyond that – EW! Now I have to worry about the cleanliness of ALL the hands at the fast food place? And the surfaces…and the…..sorry. Germaphobe kicked in.
  3. “Most Searched Jeans” – The ones a chronic shoplifter is wearing? Just a guess.
  4. “Shoppers Disappoint Retailers This Holiday Season” – yeah…well…the feeling is kind of mutual.
  5. “The Truth Behind ‘As Seen On TV’ Items” – They are junk? Is this news really??
  6. “Celebrities Real Hair Color Revealed” – Ummm…..do they even remember? And – hey – if they have to tell then do I have to tell? Pass.
  7. “Don’t Die in 2013” – Good tip.  Thanks.
  8. “What Jessica  Simpson Won’t Do While Pregnant” – Hopefully prance around in clothes that are too tight but that’s too much to ask, isn’t it?
  9. “Which Actors Deserve Their Paychecks” – Does anyone truly deserve that kind of money? Really?
  10. “Eight Words Most Liars Use” – ‘No really I’m telling you that’s what happened.’ or ‘I swear that I’m telling you the truth.’
  11. “Space Tourism Facing Major Concerns” – Shooting just anyone off into space? Can’t imagine why that would cause concerns….
  12. “Edible Mosaic Portrait Of Kevin Bacon” – Bet I can guess what it’s made out of.  Again: some people have way too much time on their hands.
  13. “Why You Aren’t Getting Job Interviews” – I haven’t applied anywhere??
  14. “Bears Were Used In Test Flights” – Wonder how they taught them to steer the jets? ‘Yogi’s Flight School’….I like that.
  15. “Boomerang Kids vs Parents: How To Minimize Conflict” – Move before it comes back. Duh!
  16. “Sea Otters Victorious In Decades Long Struggle With US Government” – The government was struggling with sea otters? And lost? Figures.
  17. “Annual Bird Counts Give Scientists Climate Clues” – Someone actually counts the birds and gets paid?  I want that job!
  18. “Five Ways To Get Your Kids To Listen” – Speak louder. And get ‘the look’ on your face.  Works for me.
  19. “Is It Ever OK To Label Kids?” – Only if you want them returned to you….
  20. “Secrets Your Movie Theater Won’t Tell You” – It really doesn’t cost that much to make the popcorn.

And in honor of the “looming” fiscal cliff:

photo credit: googleimages.com

photo credit: googleimages.com

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6 responses to “This Week’s Headlines #22

  1. oh…so hilarious!! Sorry you had to clear that snow…especially if they normally use a bobcat…just doesn’t seem fair!! And I do feel really bad about us shoppers disappointing those retailers like that!!! LOL!!

    • wedelmomth says:

      Oh I know. I may lose sleep…..poor poor retailers….
      The bright spot about scooping is that I quit feeling guilty bout not getting up early for my morning workout. 😉

  2. I wish you had posted more information about that amazing deal on the house… 😉

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