The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #25

on January 18, 2013

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It’s Friday. Fabulous Friday! My favorite day of the week.  For me Friday means a half day of work and a few “kid free” hours. This week it means a NAP! (It’s been one of those weeks both in and out of work.)   My other favorite part of Friday is this post.  Even though it’s been a crazy week and it wasn’t an easy task picking through headlines about gun reform and doped (insert gasp of sarcastic amazement here) cyclists, here is this week’s offering. Enjoy!

  1. “Not Quite Ready To Retire? How To Get An ‘Encore Career’ ” – Are they kidding?  Who asks for an encore of something that stunk to begin with?
  2. “Man Crashes Car Into Pizzeria” – Don’t they deliver?
  3. “What’s In ‘Secret Sauce’?” – There are just some things we are better off not knowing.
  4. “Argue Like A Grown-up” – I’m going to guess sticking out your tongue and calling someone a doody-head isn’t encouraged.  Bummer.
  5. “Home Upgrades That Are A Waste of Money” – I used to think heated toilet seats would fall in this category but this winter might be changing my mind.
  6. “Lies To Quit Telling Yourself By Age 30” – ‘You can totally rock those skinny jeans.’
  7. “Dog Mistaken For A Lion” – Well the similarities are endless.  No wonder….
  8. “NFL Player Finds a Dumb Way To Get Arrested” – As opposed to finding a smart way to be arrested.  That’s so much better.
  9. “Where The Flu Virus Hides” – Everywhere.  And I don’t think it is hiding.
  10. “Dumb Dieting Ideas” – Where would one even start this article? And why?  People don’t need help being dumb.
  11. “What’s Getting More Expensive in 2013?” – Everything?
  12. “Ten Ways To Make Yourself Look Older” – Wait – on purpose?  Why would I do that?
  13. “Essential Item For Eyes” – Tears?  I hate dry eyes.
  14. “New Life For Jimmy Hoffa Murder Mystery” – Oh my word – let it DIE already! It isn’t like this was a great guy and society was worse off without him.
  15. “New Surround Sound Coffin” – Please. I don’t even have surround sound in my family room.  (But as a note to my family – if you are going to do that be sure to get the 55″ flat screen to go with it okay. )
  16. “It’s No Mistake – You’re Paycheck Is Smaller” – Now that is a matter of opinion.
  17. “The Top Four Reasons You Are Frustrated At Work” – #1 – People.  #2 – People.  #3 – People….
  18. “75 Things Men Don’t Know About Women” – Someone actually started a list?  And it only went to 75?
  19. “GPS Chips On Pill Bottles” – They want to track you by your meds now?  Perfect. Assuming you carry your prescription in your pocket.  If it’s my prescription it’s going to look like I never leave my bathroom.
  20. “Horsemeat  Found In Burgers ‘Completely Unacceptable’ ” – Ya think?!?!  Unacceptable?? Let’s try “May be the most disgusting thing ever.”

Have a great weekend my friends.  I leave you with this great piece of news :

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5 responses to “This Week’s Headlines #25

  1. Love it! Hilarious as always! Love #4!

  2. Valerie says:

    ROFL!! I love this.
    No, I don’t think the flu is hiding at all… 😛
    Dumb dieting ideas? REALLY?
    #17 – HAHAHA!

  3. I saw the Lion Dog on TV. Why would anyone give their Labradoodle that ridiculous haircut AND make it go out in public? Surround-sound coffin? Is that so we can hear the decomposition? Okay, I have now officially heard everything. GPS pill bottles? Just how big are these people’s medicine cabinets? Holy crap.
    You rocked it as always.

    • wedelmom says:

      I saw a picture of it too. While he did look lion-ish he was a little small to be an actual lion don’t you think? Some people shouldn’t be allowed to have pets either.
      I’m not sure why one needs surround sound in their coffin. You’d think the batteries would wear out eventually.
      Never – EVER – say you have heard everything. Something even weirder always shows up. 😉
      Thanks my friend!

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