The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines – #26

on January 25, 2013


Once the dust settled from Monday’s inauguration and all those fascinating articles drifted to the back of my internet news browser (Does anyone really care who designed anyone’s clothes? Yes – I know. The designers care.) and everyone decided they really don’t care if a football player from Notre Dame lied about a girlfriend there were some really great news tidbits this week. Happy Friday Friends!

  1. “Don’t Talk About Your Love Life Here” – please let this article be about Facebook.  Oh please oh please oh please!!
  2. “Annual ‘Food-Porn’ List Published” – What list???? I don’t even want to know the qualifications for this one.
  3. “Woman Crashed Train Into House” – How close to the train tracks does the house need to be for this to happen? Talk about living on the wrong side of the tracks.
  4. “Robot Baby Expresses Human Emotion” – Ah yes….but it still has an “off” button.
  5. “Giant Goldfish Caught” – How in the world did he escape his bowl?
  6. “Michael J. Fox Would Not Approve Of Son Dating Swift” – Well what parent in their right mind would?  I don’t know about anyone else but I don’t enjoy listening to my son being trashed by a bitter person.
  7. “Teacher Has Phobia Of Kids” – That ought to be a fun classroom.
  8. “Do Your Clothes Send The Wrong Message?” – Now that would depend. If the message is “it is really really cold out” – then no.
  9. “8 Medication Mistakes Parents Make” – #1 – Buying “non-drowsy”…..
  10. “Could You Beat This Ex-NBA Bench Warmer?” – With what? If it’s on a long enough stick so I can reach his head – you bet.
  11. “10 Things Never To Say To Your Boss.” – #1 – “That isn’t my job.”  #2 – “Wow. You look cranky today.” #3 – “What does the handbook say about mental abuse?”….
  12. “Bucket Burglar Caught” – Oh I am so relieved. I can take my buckets out of the safe now.
  13. “Men Take On Excruciating Pain Of Child Birth” – They are kidding right?  I don’t care what they do to simulate it, if you don’t have the correct parts it isn’t the same thing.  Quit trying to make them “get it.”
  14. “Woman In Photo Speaks” – I bet that startled someone! “My wallet is talking….”
  15. “U.S. Not In Top Ten Happiest Most Prosperous Countries” – This is news?  Look around. Not hard to figure out.
  16. “Cold Weather Style Tips” – Layers. Layers. Layers.
  17. “What Americans Lose By Sitting In Traffic” – Their minds? Duh.
  18. “NASA Beams Mona Lisa To The Moon” – Museum get tired of paying for security? Well I guess no one will steal her there.
  19. “Bank Informs Man He Passed Away” – Do you ever feel like you are always the last one to know things?
  20. “Annoying Parenting Tips” – Wait…are those tips that are annoying, tips from people who are annoying or tips about how to be an annoying parent? I’ve got the last one covered.  And the first two now that I think about it….

And some days it is all about the words we chose to use…..


5 responses to “This Week’s Headlines – #26

  1. are you sure you don’t care about the Notre Dame football guy – omg–if I hear another word about it I am going to shoot my tv (although I know it would just be easier to turn the channel)

  2. Seriously laughing through this whole thing and then the news clip really had me going! By the way, I was just sitting here on a Sunday and it hit me I didn’t see your Friday News Headlines and I got worried that there was something wrong! I went and checked and here it was! It was not in my Reader! Also, I guess my posts are not showing up in some of my followers Readers either so I sent an email to WordPress Friday morning. I’m still waiting to hear the verdict. If I do I will let you know so you can either send an email to them to or do whatever I have to do!

  3. wedelmom says:

    Now that you mention it – I’m not seeing everything in my reader either. Checked my settings – they are correct. Weird! I’ll have to sit this afternoon and catch up on yours…
    Let me know what you hear back – this is NOT cool!

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