The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #28

on February 8, 2013

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After our fun-filled adventure to north western Nebraska, my husband and I re-packed and loaded up my faithful Ford Escape to journey southeast yesterday.  I am blogging today from the little house on Grandpa’s farm which will be our temporary new home in less than a month. Let the cleaning, organizing and the like begin!  After I rest from being on the road so much. Despite logging lots of miles in our vehicles this week I was still able to find some gems to share.  That might have something to do with the fact that there is little else to do while trapped in a car than play on your smart phone.  Here are a few that caught my well-traveled eye:

  1. “Man Lives With Wolves” – Didn’t Kipling already write this?  And then Disney made it into a movie?
  2. “Funeral Procession Takes Fast Food Detour” – I guess the cemetery was far away?  Saved the church ladies some work anyway.
  3. “Where Not Do Die In 2012” – I’d prefer “anywhere”.
  4. “Valuable Whale Vomit” – Valuable to whom?  And how does anyone know it came from a whale?  Wait….I don’t want to know.
  5. “Cheetos Lead To Robber”  – You’d think you’d know to lick that orange stuff off of your fingers.
  6. “House Boasts Very Strange Baby Trend” – Is that supposed to be a selling point?
  7. “The Big Fear Of Automakers” – We’ll figure out that we really don’t need our cars to make phone calls for us?
  8. “Are You Running The Wrong Way” – Most of the time.  Thanks for asking.
  9. “Scare As Pilot Passes Out During Flight” – yeah…that’d do it.
  10. “Castle Homes Available To Buy” – For those who honestly think they are royalty.  Wonder if they come with ladies in waiting?
  11. “Woman Goes On Test Drive, Robs Bank” – So she could buy the car?
  12. “Underground Dentist Takes Defiant Stance” – I’d rather he take classes at the dental school.
  13. “Identity Theft And Your Child” – You mean if someone steals my identity they have to take my kids?  Hmmm….
  14. “Oldest Crabs Found” – Now that isn’t even nice.  We’ll see how happy you people are when you get older.
  15. “Giggling Woman Flips Judge The Bird, Judge Not Amused” – I’d guess not.  How do I just know she was in there on drug charges?
  16. “How People Are Judging You” – Unfairly most of the time.
  17. “Three Tips To Beat Rising Gas Prices” – #1 Walk….#2 Buy a Bike….
  18. “Report: Mom Steals Son’s Letter Of Intent” – Now they are going to notice that she’s too old to play college football.
  19. “Who Gets The Armrests On A Crowded Plane” – The one with the biggest arms?
  20. “Vodka Monument Toppled” – Sounds like someone’s party got out of hand.

Speaking of things getting out of hand: this is one tough church…..

Happy Friday Everyone!!

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3 responses to “This Week’s Headlines #28

  1. Hahaha…nothing like gazing at an open casket to make a person hungry. Except funerals are usually followed by the best sandwiches in the whole world–church sandwiches. Hm, you didn’t say what type of crabs those were. The one who gets the armrest on crowded flights is never me. And, what the &%$# is a LIVE DRIVE-THROUGH crucifixion?

  2. Oh man, totally cracking up at #15!!!! Have a great weekend cleaning!!!

  3. […] The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle […]

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