The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #29

on February 15, 2013

newspaper

What a fun-filled week sorting through the news with so many important things happening out there.  Man hunts, stranded cruise ships, a retiring pope and, most importantly, pictures of a pregnant woman in a bikini.  Does the fact that I could fit all of those things into one sentence scare anyone but me??  While I’m on the subject I should also tell you that the fact that my packing gets interrupted because I have to stop and read things on my “wrapping material” is also a bit disconcerting.  I may never get moved but I keep finding great stuff for my blog.  Life is all about priorities after all….

  1. “Signs You Immune System Isn’t Working” – That annoying cough and fever?
  2. “Signs You Are Overspending” – The negative balance in your account?
  3. “Family Sues Because Disney Character Doesn’t Hug Their Kids” – Wow.  It ain’t easy being Goofy….
  4. “Beware Of This Word On Fast Food Menus” – Supersize
  5. “Farmville Coming To TV” – Are they serious?!?  So help me if my friends can send requests through the television now…..
  6. “How To Prevent Wrinkles” – Don’t age.
  7. “Hot Health Careers, No Med School Required” – I’ve gone to that doctor I think…..
  8. “Pop Quiz: Does Home Insurance Cover This?” – Answer: Probably not unless it was the 29th of February, the moon was full and the wind came from the southeast for exactly 25 seconds.
  9. “Student Sues for $1.3 Million Over C+” – Sues who? Himself?? Here’s a thought – study. It’s free.
  10. “What Would Happen If Asteroid 2012DA14 Hit Earth?” – What would happen if you quit writing articles just to scare people?
  11. “Attorney Offers Free Divorce For Valentine’s Day” – Well that is one way to get in on the action for the day.
  12. “Rogue Amish Leader Given 15 Years In Prison For Hair Cutting Hate Crimes” – Hair cutting hate crimes? You can turn in your hair stylist now??
  13. “Sri Lankan Inmate Stashes Phone In Rectum” – Booty Call?
  14. “Weddings: Bows Are Back” – Oh good! I was hoping mine wasn’t the only generation that had to endure the gigantic butt-bow.
  15. “Antarctica Not Bikini Friendly, Says Upton” – She hasn’t made all that money because of her brain has she?
  16. “Battered Skulls Reveal Violence Among Stone Age Women” – It has never been a good idea to mess with someone else’s kid…
  17. “Sky Diver Faints On Descent” – I would too.
  18. “Painfully Bad Night Of Singing On Idol” – Isn’t that kind of the point?
  19. “Most Romantic Places On Earth To Kiss” – Well I kind of like the neck below the ear, but…..
  20. What Does It Take To Land The SI Swimsuit Cover?” – According to #15 not a lot of brains.  Come to think of it: not a lot of clothes either.

While I’m covering things that make you say “Duh!”:

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10 responses to “This Week’s Headlines #29

  1. momshieb says:

    Hahahahaha! “Fewer blows to head…..” Yeesh!!

  2. Janelle says:

    Oh my, the butt bow.

    • wedelmom says:

      I think every woman should have to wear a hideous dress with a gigantic bow bringing extra attention to her butt at least once in her life. It’s an experience!

  3. I was laughing so hard at #12….I would definitely be in jail after the haircut I gave my youngest son yesterday! And while I was still laughing along came #13 and #14…hahaha!!!!

  4. ohlidia says:

    I love your sense of humour! You and my husband would get along great.

  5. Valerie says:

    #1, 6 & 7 – ROFL!! For real! No med school. Hmm, not too promising…

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