The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #30

on February 22, 2013

newspaper

The big news in my area today is, of course, Winter Storm Q. The most over-hyped storm that I can remember.  We woke up this morning to 8″ of snow and a 2 hour late start to school.  With all the press prior to the storm you’d think we’d be buried for at least 3 days.  No wonder this storm only got a letter and not a name.  It’s just normal winter weather. Please people: It’s Nebraska. It snows in the winter. GET A GRIP!

On to the non-snowpocolypse headlines from this week….

  1. “Asteroid May Have Killed Dinosaurs Quicker Than Scientists Thought” – Well how long did they think something could live once it was hit with a flaming space rock traveling at the speed of sound?
  2. “Teen Leaves Jail Then Steals School Bus” – Ironic seeing that he obviously is a slow learner….
  3. “Kate Gosselin To Swap Lives With a Celebrity” – She finally got what she wanted!  Good for you Kate.
  4. “The Reason You Are Always Late” – Two words: Snooze Button.
  5. “Ridiculous NBA All-Star Fashion Statements” – You try finding clothes that size.  Aside from that you can’t slam dunk in just anything.
  6. “Hand Sanitizing Truths” – It’s a great way to find paper cuts you didn’t know you had.
  7. “Sneaky Traps That Lead To Winter Weight Gain” – The “If I move out from under this blanket I will freeze to death” trap?  Maybe the “hot chocolate will warm me up after I ate that ice cream”  trap.
  8. “Most Stolen SUVs” – I’ll bet the car manufacturers are thrilled this list came out.
  9. “Dumb Post Birth Comments” – ‘When are you due?’  ‘When my babies were born…..’  “Enjoy it because they don’t stay little long.’
  10. “You’ve Never Seen A Car Do This Before” – I’m assuming they mean without the help of computer animation because ‘Bumblebee‘ was pretty amazing.
  11. “7 Texts Not To Send Him”  –  #1: ‘So today when I was pulling out….’  #2: ‘You have another screwdriver right?’ #3: “Have you had trouble with the debit?’…..
  12. “Is A Juice Cleanse Right For You?” – Depends on whether or not I want to leave my house.
  13. “Clemens Says He Won’t Lose Sleep Over Hall of Fame Vote” – He better not or he’ll never sleep again.  Of course he’s proven he doesn’t lose sleep over much…..
  14. “New Ways To Use Peanut Butter” – There are just some things I don’t want to know.
  15. “‘Uglier The Better’ 90’s Style Is Back” – Oh good.  That makes life easier.
  16. “Bad Habits That Drive Your Co-Workers Crazy” – Counting down the days until your last day….oh…wait….
  17. “Should The President Get A Raise” – Seriously??  Because the “free everything” hidden perk isn’t enough?
  18. “Rock Star Crashes Local Karaoke Bar” – Talk about taking your work with you everywhere you go.
  19. “Chuck E. Cheese Killer Loses Final Appeal” – There’s a Chuck E. Cheese killer?  Okay….it was bound to happen.  Parents can only take so much.
  20. “Bad Habits That Are Good For You” – Huh?

And more from the world of “Huh?” :

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Happy Friday All!!

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8 responses to “This Week’s Headlines #30

  1. sarahlmandl says:

    “flaming space rock traveling at the speed of sound” made me laugh out loud, literally!

  2. haha!!! #6 is so the truth!!! I am totally cracking up at #11 and #19!!!

  3. mummyshymz says:

    Haha! I was hooked after #1!

  4. Hm. Is it bad that I want to know more about how I can use peanut butter? And someone finally killed Chuck E. Cheese? Good for them. And I thought I was the only one that could justify following ice cream with cocoa.
    Great post, as usual!!

    • wedelmom says:

      It isn’t bad at all. You are simply braver than I.
      The mouse/rat/whatever he is was bound to get it eventually.
      Are you kidding? Doesn’t everyone drink cocoa after ice cream in the winter? You have to warm up….

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