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This Week’s Headlines #33

newspaper

Ah…back to the news!  Now mind you that we are sporadic in our ability to view trending news on the internet as of yet but here are a few nuggets I discovered this week.  Enjoy….It’s good to be back!

  1. “Store Yanks See-Through Yoga Pants” – That’s okay. Everyone yanks at their yoga pants at one point or another.
  2. “Obama Sends Private Letter To Pope” – Confession is good for the soul…
  3. “What Those Sell-by Dates Really Mean” – I’m going to go out on a limb and guess they mean ‘sell-by’.
  4. “Pope’s First Phone Call Mistaken As A Prank” – It was bound to happen. Who is going to believe, “Hi! Guess what Mom? I’m the pope!”
  5. “Dishwasher Do’s and Don’ts” – #1 DO put your own dishes in it. #2 DON’T expect Mom to do it….
  6. “Extinct Animals Scientists Want To Bring Back” – Did they ever consider that they are extinct for a reason?? Great. We need more dinosaurs around here….
  7. “Ice Cube Designs To Make Your Drinks Cooler” – Ummm…don’t all ice cubes make your drink cooler??
  8. “Scientists Eye Odd Use For Snail Teeth” – Snails have teeth??  What are they used for now??
  9. “School Asks Students To Cut Back On Body Spray” – They just thought of this? Why wasn’t I born 25 years later? I could have avoided all those days of “Polo-haze” in high school.
  10. “Scotland May Allow Jedi To Perform Marriage Ceremonies” – ‘Pronounce you man and wife, I do.’
  11. “Wanted: Scammer Who Squatted In Upscale Homes For 5 Years” – Do you really think she’s going to respond to a personal ad?
  12. “Burglar Tracked By Pickax Bar Code” – That’ll teach you to remove the tags from your crime tools.
  13. “Washington State Hires First ‘Pot Czar'” – His mother must be so proud.  You kind of have to wonder what he majored in….
  14. “Colleges Say Federal Cuts Could Cause Brain Drain” – That’s a pretty deep cut.
  15. “Biden Takes Over The Vatican” – I didn’t even know he was Catholic.
  16. “Vonn/Woods Announce Relationship On Facebook” – Well then it must be official.
  17. “Wild Foxes As House Pets” – That’s a fabulous idea.  If your chickens keep getting in the house….
  18. “Spring Break Danger: Binge Drinking” – ‘Slow News Day Danger: Stories that make you say DUH!’
  19. “Elephant Dung Coffee: Smooth, Rich, Expensive” – Which just proves that idiots will waste money on…okay I’ll stop there.
  20. “See Lindsay Lohan’s Sixth Mugshot” – Because it’s better than the first five?  Get a life people.

And because spring is just around the corner, here is a reminder for you:

Photo Credit: unintentionally-funny-headlines.com

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Hitting The Wall And Finding The Gift

Photo Credit: www-static.weddingbee.com

It was bound to happen really. One can only go so long at full speed, or what feels like full speed,  before one winds up running smack into “the wall”.  You know “the wall” right?  The place where you figure out that you are physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.  I don’t know why I was surprised by my wall but I was.  You’d think I would have seen it ahead but apparently I was running blind or thinking I could go around it.  Maybe I thought I could plow through it.  Silly me.

It’s been a draining two and a half weeks.

Draining physically: packing, purging junk, cleaning, unpacking, cleaning, laundry…did I mention cleaning and packing?  I always thought I was a neat, clean and organized person.  I now know I was delusional.  Or maybe I now know that life has a way of making things messy. I do know for sure that cleaning to leave a house that you’ve lived in for so long makes you discover muscles, and dirt, that you never noticed before.  I also now know that a family of six accumulates a lot of stuff.  Probably too much stuff.

Draining mentally: remembering all the last-minute details, making sure you’ve taken care of everything before you move, figuring out what things you need to function and what things can be stored for a while.  We downsized to a MUCH smaller house for now.  Trying to find the line between necessary and functional while still wanting to achieve the feel of “home” was a little more daunting than I thought it would be. (Remember I just said we have too much stuff?)  While doing that at home I was trying to ensure that everything at the job I was leaving was lined up and easy for those who followed me.  I didn’t realize how many details there were to my former job until I started trying to list all my tasks.  Life is kind of like that isn’t it?  We don’t realize how much there is to  the “ordinary stuff”.

Draining emotionally: leaving a job I had for 12 years, friends I had for 14 years, the house where we raised our children and, worst of all, our oldest daughter.  That may have been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.  I spent a portion of the day following our move looking at the snow, missing her and crying.  Emotionally drained. Of course along with the hard stuff was the good stuff. Like returning “home” after 21 years. Moving into a house that belonged to my grandparents where my memories are so happy. Life is kind of like that most of the time isn’t it?  There is always good mixed in with hard.  Sometimes I think that makes it more confusing.

Of course there is always just the stress that goes along with moving.  Like getting the moving truck stuck in mud, twice.  Or eight inches of blowing snow the day after you get to your new home.  Or trying to remember which box you packed the toilet paper in.  We had great help and I will forever be grateful but the bottom line is this: moving is hard.  And tiring.  You’d think I’d have seen that wall coming. But I didn’t. Or I ignored it.

I tend to function best at full speed.  I like a plan and a deadline. I like to be busy. So really the last two weeks were right up my alley: I had a goal to accomplish and a checklist to get through.  It works for me.  Well it works for a while.  We got moved.  We got settled.  The younger two children got settled into their new schools. I had a job interview.  Things were clicking along according to the schedule in my brain.   In my brain I need to be working again soon. I thought I was on track for that. I have settled the house, gotten the kids settled in school, established a routine…there is really nothing left for me to accomplish here.  I’m not used to all this free time and it’s messing with my head. Then yesterday I found out that the job that I interviewed for and thought I got I may not have gotten.  I’ll find out next Monday.  That threw me for a loop. What it really did was throw me into the wall.

The wall which reminded me that I can’t control everything.  The wall that says not everything is going to go according to my plans or schedule.  The hard wall.  The solid wall. The wall that knocked me on my fanny for half a day.  The wall that made me stop mid-rush and realize that I had been throwing away a gift.  A gift of some time to rest and take a break from frantic living.  The gift of being able to just hang out with my parents and the rest of my family for a while.  The gift of quiet.  The gift of peace.  The time to take a deep breath and relax a little.  I didn’t even know I needed that until now.

So what’s the “plan” for today?  I’m going to sip coffee and enjoy the view from my front window:

or maybe the back one:

Later I’m going to make dinner for my parents who are returning from a trip out of town for a few days. Until then maybe I’ll read a book.  Or take a nap.  Do a craft.  Bake something.  I really have no plan.

Whatever I do I intend to enjoy my unexpected gift!

Photo Credit: http://www.ebay.com

 

 

 

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Wednesday Wonderings – I’m Baaaack!

WonderingWednesday

 

Well…I’m almost back.  I’m blogging to you live today from our new landlord/neighbor…okay my parents’ home.  We have yet to get back “online” at our new location. It’s a long story involving cut phone lines and routers and metal studs but I won’t bore you with that.  I’ll just steal bandwidth from my ever-loving, ever-forgiving parents for now.  It’s been a busy two weeks. Enough to make a girl wonder.

  1. Why is it that no matter how well you think you’ve planned nothing ever goes as you thought it would?  That isn’t always bad, of course, but it sure makes me wonder why I wasted the time planning.  Of course if I hadn’t…
  2. Who hired the rodent to predict when spring was going to arrive?  He lies.  Eight inches of snow the day after we moved in…more predicted this weekend.  Last year at this time the magnolia tree in our yard…well our old yard…was starting to bloom.  Early spring? I don’t think so!
  3. Does anyone find it strangely amusing that your kids don’t appreciate you until you aren’t around any longer?  Our oldest daughter called last night and informed me how much she appreciates that I did her laundry all the time.  She just figured that out?
  4. Why do I own so many pitchers?  No one is that thirsty.
  5. Why is it so easy to fall out of a routine and so hard to get back into one.  Seriously: two weeks off the treadmill and this week you’d think I was going to die.  So much for thinking I’m in pretty good shape.  (Well…round is a shape.)
  6. Have you ever noticed that the stuff that drove you crazy as a kid you now enjoy?  I’m kind of liking the quiet and distance of being in the country right now.
  7. Why is it than when you are working you wish you could say home but when you are home you wish you had a job?  I’ve figured out I am no longer wired to be a stay at home mom.  Might have something to do with the fact that my kids are gone all day….
  8. Are anybody else’s parents like a thousand percent funnier now that they are older?  I swear…these are not the people who raised me.  Well they are but a kid playing a recorder for them seems to annoy them less these days.
  9. Who knew that the heat from a wood burning stove was so much warmer?  Okay a lot of people probably knew that but I just figured it out.
  10. Does anyone else achingly miss the internet when they don’t have access? If I had a dime for every time I’ve said, “well just look it up…oh…wait….” recently I’d be able to start my own internet provider company.

I’m also wondering how I made it this long without checking in on everyone.  Forgive me. It isn’t that I haven’t thought about it – or all of you! Happy mid-week all!

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This Week’s Headlines #32

newspaper

This is a special news bulletin: today’s post is not “live” so today’s headlines are sort of old news.  I’m trusting auto-publish to take care of my weekly news post while I finish last minute packing, loading and, most likely,  having a nervous break down.  Forgive the lack of “freshness” today….hopefully I’ll be back with new stuff next week.  Providing I can remember which box the computer went into.  Happy Weekend All!

  1. ” ‘In America You Have The Right To Be Stupid’ ” – Obviously…but do we need to be so proud of that?
  2. “Mistakes Parents Make When Feeding Kids” – They really do know that you are hiding those green beans in their sandwich.
  3. “17 Top-Secret Corporate Labs” – I guess they aren’t so top secret any more.
  4. “What Will The Pope Wear In Retirement?” – Whatever he wants?  I image a robe and slippers for a few days…oh…wait….
  5. “Food Stamps…For Pets?” – Well why not?  Pets are people too. Or something like that.
  6. “Missed Diagnoses Common In The Doctor’s Office” – They are also common in the Monday morning ladies Bible study.  Or my mother’s house.  Or….
  7. “Famous Song Lyrics We Always Get Wrong” – Louie Louie?  Yeah…have to post it:
  8. “Study: Having Boys Shaves Months Off Your Life” –  Well DUH!  You could have paid me and I would have told you that.
  9. “Heroic Man Builds Oreo Separator Machine” – Heroic?  Because it is so difficult to get those suckers twisted apart I guess.
  10. “Dog Shoots Owner In The Leg” – Must have been a guard dog….
  11. “TV Show Host Faints While Teaching Importance Of Oxygen” – There is nothing like a good object lesson to drive home a point.
  12. “Man Arrested After Calling 911 Nine Times To Order A Cheeseburger” – I guess he was having a Mac-attack.
  13. “Why Cable TV Has So Many Useless Channels” – Useless?  I don’t know about you but I find the Brazilian Butt Lift channel very useful.
  14. “How To Pay Zero Federal Income Taxes” – Don’t file?  Works until they catch you anyway.
  15. “Audrey Hepburn Resurrected For A New Commercial” – Okay Oil of Olay, I don’t care how good you think your product is there are just some people it isn’t going to help.
  16. “Why Your Video Isn’t Going Viral” – Because nobody else really cares how amazing you think your kids are?
  17. “Poem’s Clues Lead To Buried Treasure” – Didn’t they make this into a movie?  Wait. That was ancient native american tablets hidden in a couple desks.  Never mind.
  18. “Players Strange Tattoo Injury” – Wait.  He got injured from the tattoo, because of the tattoo or while getting the tattoo?
  19. “Controversial Ingredient May Be Added To Milk” – Well the world MAY also end tomorrow but I don’t see us trying to get people to panic over that.
  20. “With No Pope Catholic Church Leaderless For Now” – I’m so glad they explained that.  I was confused.

And while we are in the category of “News Articles That Really Shouldn’t Need To Be Written”:

photo credit: funmeme.com

photo credit: funmeme.com

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This Week’s Headlines – #31

newspaper

What a week this has been. Between Oscar fashions, popes retiring and the threat of sequester the news world has been a buzzing this week.  In personal news: today is my last day of work so I’m a buzzing too.  It might have something to do with the fact that two people brought me mocha lattes yesterday. I really am going to miss some people here.  While the lattes were great it did occur to me that when the pope quit his job after 8 years he got a helicopter lift off.  I’ve been here 12 years and 30 days (not that I counted) and I’ll pull away in my own car.  Does that seem fair??  It’s probably okay though since I am not an overly huge fan of heights and/or flying and am addicted to coffee and chocolate.  Yeah. I got the better deal.

Here are the news nuggets I found this week:

  1. “Eight Place To Go Before You Have Kids” –  Daycare center…church nursery…those will change your mind.  On a serious note: go to the bathroom.  You’ll never be in there alone again.
  2. “Why Pacman Got Knocked Out” – Those ghosts are fast.
  3. “$19 Unlimited Phone Plan’s Big Drawbacks” – So it really isn’t unlimited, is it?
  4. “Why We Are Addicted To Junk Food” – Ummm…because it tastes good?
  5. “Woman Dumps Boyfriend After Finding Him With Another Woman On Online Map” – There’s a lesson in ‘don’t check-in on Facebook if you are cheating.’
  6. “Mass Boy Trying To Avoid Bedtime Calls 911” – Well it was an emergency to him apparently.
  7. “Woman, 104, Lies About Her Age On Facebook” – Better there than Match.com
  8. “Things You Should Never Say To Your Teen” – #1 – Here are my car keys.  #2 – Sure you can borrow my credit card….
  9. “Is Swift The Worst Ex-Girlfriend Ever?” – Not if you don’t mind someone singing bitter songs about you.
  10. “Monster Goldfish Found” – Monster goldfish? Does it have three eyes?
  11. “Worker Snack Leads To Felony Charge” – What the heck was he eating? His co-workers?
  12. “Who Can Afford A $17 Million Home” – No one I know.
  13. “Toxic Mice Battle Unruly Snakes” – Does that sound like a poor B horror flick to anyone else?
  14. “Extinct Tribes Rediscovered In The Jungle” – Well then I guess they weren’t too extinct were they?
  15. “Flu Shot Failure Baffles Health Officials” – Obviously.
  16. “Tips On How To Avoid Drone Strikes” – Don’t become a terrorist?
  17. “Kim Kardashian’s Marriage Advice” – Is that kind of like taking diplomacy advice from Atilla The Hun?
  18. “Lawyer Visiting Client Forgotten For Hours Inside Jail” – You’d think a lawyer would know how to get out…
  19. “Kim & Kayne’s Racy Cover Violates Her Privacy Policy” – She has a privacy policy? Seriously?? That is news!
  20. “Town Giving Away Houses – With A Catch” – Like ‘you have to knock it down and start over’?

Obviously this is not the prison from #18…

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