The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines – #31

on March 1, 2013

newspaper

What a week this has been. Between Oscar fashions, popes retiring and the threat of sequester the news world has been a buzzing this week.  In personal news: today is my last day of work so I’m a buzzing too.  It might have something to do with the fact that two people brought me mocha lattes yesterday. I really am going to miss some people here.  While the lattes were great it did occur to me that when the pope quit his job after 8 years he got a helicopter lift off.  I’ve been here 12 years and 30 days (not that I counted) and I’ll pull away in my own car.  Does that seem fair??  It’s probably okay though since I am not an overly huge fan of heights and/or flying and am addicted to coffee and chocolate.  Yeah. I got the better deal.

Here are the news nuggets I found this week:

  1. “Eight Place To Go Before You Have Kids” –  Daycare center…church nursery…those will change your mind.  On a serious note: go to the bathroom.  You’ll never be in there alone again.
  2. “Why Pacman Got Knocked Out” – Those ghosts are fast.
  3. “$19 Unlimited Phone Plan’s Big Drawbacks” – So it really isn’t unlimited, is it?
  4. “Why We Are Addicted To Junk Food” – Ummm…because it tastes good?
  5. “Woman Dumps Boyfriend After Finding Him With Another Woman On Online Map” – There’s a lesson in ‘don’t check-in on Facebook if you are cheating.’
  6. “Mass Boy Trying To Avoid Bedtime Calls 911” – Well it was an emergency to him apparently.
  7. “Woman, 104, Lies About Her Age On Facebook” – Better there than Match.com
  8. “Things You Should Never Say To Your Teen” – #1 – Here are my car keys.  #2 – Sure you can borrow my credit card….
  9. “Is Swift The Worst Ex-Girlfriend Ever?” – Not if you don’t mind someone singing bitter songs about you.
  10. “Monster Goldfish Found” – Monster goldfish? Does it have three eyes?
  11. “Worker Snack Leads To Felony Charge” – What the heck was he eating? His co-workers?
  12. “Who Can Afford A $17 Million Home” – No one I know.
  13. “Toxic Mice Battle Unruly Snakes” – Does that sound like a poor B horror flick to anyone else?
  14. “Extinct Tribes Rediscovered In The Jungle” – Well then I guess they weren’t too extinct were they?
  15. “Flu Shot Failure Baffles Health Officials” – Obviously.
  16. “Tips On How To Avoid Drone Strikes” – Don’t become a terrorist?
  17. “Kim Kardashian’s Marriage Advice” – Is that kind of like taking diplomacy advice from Atilla The Hun?
  18. “Lawyer Visiting Client Forgotten For Hours Inside Jail” – You’d think a lawyer would know how to get out…
  19. “Kim & Kayne’s Racy Cover Violates Her Privacy Policy” – She has a privacy policy? Seriously?? That is news!
  20. “Town Giving Away Houses – With A Catch” – Like ‘you have to knock it down and start over’?

Obviously this is not the prison from #18…

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8 responses to “This Week’s Headlines – #31

  1. Janelle says:

    Wow. Last day. Must be so strange.

  2. I hope you are out celebrating your last day of work! After 12 years and you only get a mocha latte??? Ummmm, I hope you messed with those files after all! haha!! Another great news run down!!! I’ll totally understand if you can’t get one out next week…I’m sure I’ll get over it somehow! Anyway, my favorite this week was #14!!!

    • wedelmom says:

      Actually I am down at our “new” place getting it move-in ready. 😉
      In their defense – they are having a farewell reception for our family after church tomorrow. They have been VERY good to us. I left the files in good order. 🙂
      No fears – next Friday’s post is set to auto-post. 😉

  3. mummyshymz says:

    #1 – LOL! So so true!

  4. Valerie says:

    I am really thinking you’re right about #4…and LOL #1! 😀

  5. Ahaha…the poor 104 year old lady probably couldn’t remember how old she was. Too funny! I hope your move went well!!

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