The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #33

on March 22, 2013

newspaper

Ah…back to the news!  Now mind you that we are sporadic in our ability to view trending news on the internet as of yet but here are a few nuggets I discovered this week.  Enjoy….It’s good to be back!

  1. “Store Yanks See-Through Yoga Pants” – That’s okay. Everyone yanks at their yoga pants at one point or another.
  2. “Obama Sends Private Letter To Pope” – Confession is good for the soul…
  3. “What Those Sell-by Dates Really Mean” – I’m going to go out on a limb and guess they mean ‘sell-by’.
  4. “Pope’s First Phone Call Mistaken As A Prank” – It was bound to happen. Who is going to believe, “Hi! Guess what Mom? I’m the pope!”
  5. “Dishwasher Do’s and Don’ts” – #1 DO put your own dishes in it. #2 DON’T expect Mom to do it….
  6. “Extinct Animals Scientists Want To Bring Back” – Did they ever consider that they are extinct for a reason?? Great. We need more dinosaurs around here….
  7. “Ice Cube Designs To Make Your Drinks Cooler” – Ummm…don’t all ice cubes make your drink cooler??
  8. “Scientists Eye Odd Use For Snail Teeth” – Snails have teeth??  What are they used for now??
  9. “School Asks Students To Cut Back On Body Spray” – They just thought of this? Why wasn’t I born 25 years later? I could have avoided all those days of “Polo-haze” in high school.
  10. “Scotland May Allow Jedi To Perform Marriage Ceremonies” – ‘Pronounce you man and wife, I do.’
  11. “Wanted: Scammer Who Squatted In Upscale Homes For 5 Years” – Do you really think she’s going to respond to a personal ad?
  12. “Burglar Tracked By Pickax Bar Code” – That’ll teach you to remove the tags from your crime tools.
  13. “Washington State Hires First ‘Pot Czar'” – His mother must be so proud.  You kind of have to wonder what he majored in….
  14. “Colleges Say Federal Cuts Could Cause Brain Drain” – That’s a pretty deep cut.
  15. “Biden Takes Over The Vatican” – I didn’t even know he was Catholic.
  16. “Vonn/Woods Announce Relationship On Facebook” – Well then it must be official.
  17. “Wild Foxes As House Pets” – That’s a fabulous idea.  If your chickens keep getting in the house….
  18. “Spring Break Danger: Binge Drinking” – ‘Slow News Day Danger: Stories that make you say DUH!’
  19. “Elephant Dung Coffee: Smooth, Rich, Expensive” – Which just proves that idiots will waste money on…okay I’ll stop there.
  20. “See Lindsay Lohan’s Sixth Mugshot” – Because it’s better than the first five?  Get a life people.

And because spring is just around the corner, here is a reminder for you:

Photo Credit: unintentionally-funny-headlines.com

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7 responses to “This Week’s Headlines #33

  1. Oh, I’m so glad you’re back…I so missed reading these!!

  2. Valerie says:

    Aww, Lindsay must be so unhappy; I hate that her life has turned out the way it has. :/
    Wow, lol, colder ice cubes. I’m thinkin’ regular ones are pretty darn cold… 😉

  3. ahaha. Love your line about yanking pants. And yes, I though ice cubes were supposed to make drinks cooler. ACK. Elephant dung coffee. Any dung coffee would be gross, but ELEPHANT. Great post, as always.

  4. mummyshymz says:

    Hi, I’ve nominated you for the Liebster award. To find out how to accept the award, pls refer to: http://mummyshymz.wordpress.com/2013/04/03/liebster-award/
    Have a nice day!

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