The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #34

on April 12, 2013

newspaper

Ahhh…the end of the work week has arrived.  Though my head is swimming with learning how to do my job and I find myself exhausted in the evenings I still managed to find a few interesting things to share. Well….I thought they were interesting.  Happy Friday everyone!

  1. “Beaver Kills Man” – And everyone thought that Eddie Haskill was the one who was going to end up in jail…
  2. “Why Wearing A Bra May Be Bad For You” – Hmmmmm….try “why not wearing one might be bad for others’.
  3. “McDonald’s Apologizes For Offensive Ad” – Now if we could just get them to apologize for offensive food.
  4. “Octomom Dresses Up As Angelina Jolie” – This woman’s 15 seconds of fame isn’t up yet?  Oh…wait…it must be.  Now she’s trying to use someone else’s….
  5. “Big Wave Surprises Woman” – See – all it takes is one small act of kindness.
  6. “Ten Items Every House Should Have” – Well I’d think a roof, doors and windows would top the list….
  7. “Woman Fights Parking Ticket Fine For The Ages” – They can ticket you for driving an old car now?
  8. “What’s Missing From The New Superman Movie?” – A plot?  Well…I mean a plot that hasn’t already been done.
  9. “Botox Messes Up Paltrow’s Face” – Well…yeah.  Injecting the stuff that causes botulism into your face will do that.
  10. “Lawsuit Caused In Golf Cart Accident” – Don’t mess up a golfer’s game!
  11. “Secret Story Behind Gilligan’s Theme” – There’s a secret behind it?  It always seemed pretty straight forward to me.
  12. “Alternatives To Cable” – A book? Going for a walk? Having a life?
  13. “$2.6 Million Convertible Sets Speed Record” – For that price it better do more than get me a ticket.  It better come with a chauffeur.
  14. “Want To Avoid Airport Lines?” – Drive?
  15. “Father Builds Backyard Spaceship” – Wasn’t that a movie?  Oh…wait…that was a farmer and he built it in the barn.  Never mind.
  16. “Lucky Belt Buckle Stops Bullet” – I bet you feel bad for making fun of those huge belt buckles now don’t you? They aren’t just for showing off rodeo championships any more!
  17. “5 Realistic Reasons Women Cheat” – Realistic reasons?? Seriously?  Let’s call them what they are: excuses.
  18. “Men Really Don’t Like Brazilian Bikini Waxes Survey Shows” – Well I don’t know about you but I’m relieved.  I’ll take that right off my “to do” list.
  19. “The 7 Most Common French Toast Mistakes” – French toast mistakes? How does anyone screw up french toast? Dip the bread in egg and fry it. It isn’t rocket science.
  20. “Are Carnival Cruises Cheaper Than A Motel 6?” – I’m guessing they are now.  Of course Motel 6’s have working plumbing…you have to pay for those extras you know.

Warning: Do not read this one if you are eating!

Makes you want to run out to the nearest all you can eat place doesn’t it??

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5 responses to “This Week’s Headlines #34

  1. javaj240 says:

    IDK… I’m thinking of booking a Carnival Cruise… I mean, come on — what else can go wrong? Oh, wait. One hasn’t sunk yet. Maybe I’ll sleep on THAT decision. LOL!

    Great headlines!

    • wedelmom says:

      If you thinlk about it – sinking may have been better than what those poor people had to do. At least if you sink they send people to get you..ok…maybe not. Yeah…I think cruises are off my list.

  2. […] alone any longer. Two of my friends have joined the blogging world since I started (check them out here and here). We give each other help and encouragement along the way, and I have been given a few […]

  3. Your mind works in a much “cleaner” way than mine does. Needless to say, when I read “Beaver kills man” I did not think of the Cleaver family. Hehe.

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