The View From A Slightly Twisted Angle

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This Week’s Headlines #39

on May 31, 2013

newspaper

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve perused the latest headlines and I have to admit that I’ve missed it. I’m not sure what it is about poking fun at some of the things that hit my browser news feed that is so therapeutic but it just is.  Join me in this week’s therapy….

  1. “No You Are Not Hallucinating” – Thanks. I feel better.
  2. “McDonald’s CEO Makes A Surprising Admission” – It isn’t really food…
  3. “Starbucks Toilet Water Coffee Sparks Anger” – I’d guess so. EW!
  4. “Mermaid Hoax Makes A Big Splash” – Hoax?? What?! They aren’t real?!?!  I suppose next you are going to tell me crabs don’t sing either.  Sigh….
  5. “Typo On Sign Spurs Bomb Threat” – Was that a sign for anger management classes??
  6. “You’re Probably Playing Monopoly Wrong” – Well of course I am. I want it to end.
  7. “This Is Not Another Cute Animal Video” – Oh shoot! I haven’t seen enough of them on Facebook lately.
  8. “Best Way To Win An Argument” – Don’t start one.
  9. “High School’s Unpleasant Surprise For Grads” – Your diploma  isn’t signed.
  10. “Top Fast Food Chains You Haven’t Heard Of Yet” – Huh?  How did they get to the top if no one has heard of them?  That’s amazing!
  11. “The Food You Are Eating May Be From China” – Perfect! Then after I eat it and gain weight it’ll be at home in my clothes.
  12. “Prancercise: The Most Amazing Workout” – Prancercise?? There is a great mental image….
  13. “Simpson Looks Ready To Give Birth” – Well that is kind of rude.
  14. “H&M Apologizes: Models Have Been To Skinny” – Well it’s about time!
  15. “The Secret To Jennifer Aniston’s Fit Body” – She works out?
  16. “What Your Coffee Order Says About You” – I’m addicted?
  17. “Hidden Benefits Of Healthy Habits” – Ummm…gonna go out on a limb here…you are healthy?
  18. “Grumpy Cat Starring In A Movie” – Didn’t they already make Garfield?  Twice Already?
  19. “Can You Tell Who Is A Soda Addict And Who Is The Meth Addict?” – I would hope so.  I’ve heard of being hopped up on sugar, but….
  20. “Dangerous Braids That Can Tangle In Brains And Veins” – Dangerous Braids?  As much as I love them I gotta go with Butter Braids.  Well for my veins anyway….

I’m not sure if this one scares me or makes me laugh….

weird-and-funny-newspaper-headlines-and-articles-79

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One response to “This Week’s Headlines #39

  1. If you have not seen the creator of Prancercise you need to go out and look for it! I just saw it on tv the other day! Absolutely hilarious!

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