This Week’s Headlines #41

Oh what a week it’s been.  In news of my life I’d like to introduce our new family member Lola:

For those of you who remember this blog I posted when our old dog passed away, I told you eventually I’d want another dog.   We adopted our new sweet girl from the Nebraska Humane Society.  She’s already getting us trained.  Despite the excitement and the fact that I don’t want to quit petting her I did manage to find some time to read this week’s news and laugh. A lot.

1. “Woman Frantic Costly Over Garage Sale Mistake” – Someone should have warned her that old vacuum wasn’t worth $250 nor does it work.
2. “Deep Sea Trash like You’ve Never Seen Before” – Well since I haven’t hung out at the bottom of the ocean I don’t think I’ve ever seen any before.
3. “Where Your Car Is Most Likely To be Stolen” – In public?
4. “Beardless Brother Joins ‘Duck Dynasty’ Cast” – Are we sure it isn’t a sister??
5. “If You Have These Habits You Might Get Hacked” –  Shopping on-line?Going on-line?  Logging into your computer?
6. “NFL: Almost Enough Arrests To Form A Team” – Well they’ll need something to do during rec time.
7. “Farmer Feeds Pot To Pigs” – Maybe he wanted them to quit squealing.
8. “New ‘Terminator’ Movie Announced” – Oh good. I was just wondering when they’d resurrect that one. Now all we need is the “Back To The Future” people to get busy. Oh and the karate Kid to have a grandchild…
9. “100 Year Old Woman Hits Another Milestone” – Because the century mark wasn’t good enough?
10. “Summer Fashions That Flatter Fuller Figures” – Please don’t let the words “two piece” be in that article!
11. “Bad News For Starbucks Baristas” – Menu expansion….again?
12. “Airlines With The Best WiFi” – Yeah forget safety records. I want to know which plane will let me play Candy Crush.
13. “Are You Sure You Want That Hamburger” – Ummm….yeah!
14. “Food Ingredient That Is Aging Your Face” – Lemon?
15. “New Fast Food Trend Is All About The Buns” – You mean how big ours are getting eating there?
16. “Horse Fossil Yields Surprising Find” – Oh please don’t let this be another ancient poop story.
17. “Obtaining a Home Loan may Be Getting Easier” – Isn’t this what caused the last problem?  Do we not learn from our mistakes?
18. “Who Says Cars Can’t Swim” – Well no one.  We just call them boats.
19. “School Lunches To Be Overhauled” – While I’d wholeheartedly endorse that….I’ll bet money no matter what they do the lunches will still be gross.
20. “Dairy Queen Implements Employee Wellness Program” – Because all those High School students are out of shape? Ice Cream…wellness…sounds right to me!

And from the “Hey why didn’t I think of that?!” file:

Happy Weekend All!!

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