Thoughts From A Frozen Secretary

I’m pretty sure my brain has frozen today.  Perhaps it has just gone on a temporary vacation someplace warmer but whatever the cause of my lethargy today I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the rapid weather change we experienced overnight.  Yesterday’s high temperature was 85, a nice “indian summer” day unless you count the wind, which you quit counting when you live where I live.  Today’s forecasted high? 58.  Total reversal in more ways than one.  (I might add that at this afternoon hour we are still striving to get out of the 40’s. Brrrrr!)  Yesterday’s wind is still with us (duh- It’s Nebraska!) so for the first time in a long time I’m looking at wind chill readings. Wasn’t it just yesterday I was complaining about the heat wave?  Wait.  Maybe that was just yesterday. Hmmmm….

At any rate as I sit here under the dual vents in the office that haven’t been switched over to heat in clothes that are only “kind of warm” because I haven’t had time to switch my clothes for the season and my rings spin around my fingers I seem to be unable to corral one single thought into an entire blog. As a result, you, my friends, get to share with the thoughts pinging around in my head today. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

• I saw a commercial for the “Forever Comfy Cushion” for the first time today.  Really? A thick seat cushion?  I guess the secret is in the “gel layer”.   Why can’t I think of these things?
• Do you suppose the above product was invented by the same company who produced the “Snuggie” and the “Forever Lazy”? We call those “backwards robes” and “adult blanket sleepers” in our house.
• I have all sorts of weird ideas. Why can’t I turn them into million dollar inventions?
• Have you ever noticed that the one time you forget to wash your son’s football pants on the “day off” from practice is the one time he got them really dirty?  Hope those suckers dry fast!
• Apparently the power going off at the high school is a big deal.  I’ve received several texts about it today.  I thought my girls were done being afraid of the dark.
• Rainy chilly days should be spent at home baking cookies and reading.  Just pointing it out.
• What feels really cold today will feel balmy in about a month.
• Why do people think that by riding my bumper and honking their horn at me I’m going to drive faster than the speed limit? Really? You’ve now just issued me a challenge.  Prepare for break lights….often.  I like this game.
• It is unwise to compare your children to each other. Ever. Don’t try to get me to do it because I won’t.
• It is truly amazing how far deck chairs will travel in 40 mph wind gusts.
• Why does all the trash from the neighborhood blow into my yard.
• Is the guy across the street ever going to finish siding his house? (See above thought.)
• Why does the kid who sits in the kitchen shivering every morning because we haven’t kicked the furnace on yet still sleep in shorts?  You’d think he’d figure it out.
• When the wind is blowing hard you really should hang my paper on the doorknob.  I know it’s extra steps but “winging it” into the wind isn’t getting the job done. Sorry.
• Crabby really doesn’t get you anywhere but some days you just have to do it.
• Bickering daughters at 7am contribute to the above thought.
• Paper cuts are the worst. Cracked cuticles come in a close second.  I’m such a weenie.
• Vinegar in the above “injuries” stings. I mentioned I’m a weenie right?
• Have you ever noticed the more tired you are the more annoying people become?
• Walking away from things is sometimes hard even if it is the right thing to do.
• Why do they still let Al Gore speak? Altitude? Really?
• Sometimes it’s better to just keep your mouth shut.
• My son is right. The weather in Nebraska is bipolar. There’s no other way to explain it.